Saturday, December 31, 2016

The Time and Space Paradox

by John Boodhansingh of Zero Mindfulness

Author's Note: It's New Year's Eve. In less than 7 hours it will be 2017... At least for those of us on the East Coast of the US in Daylight Savings Time. But depending on where you live, 2017 could come a little earlier or a little later. In fact, for some of you it already is 2017... And that's true. I mean, it's time. So, yeah, it's definitely real...

Or, maybe we're just making shit up!

Whatever the case... 2017 or just simply right
now, have a blessed one. And remember that a successful New Year's Resolution is merely the external fulfillment of a prior or "co-inside-ent" internal shift. If you truly want change, don't make it—be it.

Time and Space Exist

Time exists.

Within your mind there is a past, present, and future. You recall what you’ve done, you are aware of what you’re doing now, and you make plans to do things later on.

When you go to bed at night, you set your alarm clock to wake you abruptly at 6:30 a.m. This timing allows you the temporal interval within space to get ready for work or school or the dentist appointment you’ve agreed to be at by 8:00 a.m.

In similar fashion, all runs like clockwork.

Space exists.

If you want to get from where you are to a friend on the other side of town, you must travel that distance. You must move your physical body from Point A—here—to Point B—there. For you there exists no shorter distance than as the crow flies. Naturally, this movement will take time.

And conventional physics proves this all out. We live in a space-time continuum wherein there cannot exist time without space nor space without time. Whatever is space and is in space cannot exist if there weren’t the dimension of time for it to exist in. Similarly, there would be nothing we could measure in what we call “time” if there were neither a space in which things could reside nor any space of differentiation between those things.

Time and space are certain and inseparable.

Except when they're not.

Time and Space Do Not Exist

The present moment, the now, is all that exists. The past and future of your mind do not. You don’t usually have to think, particularly about the past or future, and what happens when you do stop thinking is your awareness shifts into the eternally present now: the only place your body, emotions, process of thinking, or unfoldment of life will ever be. Even should you be able to physically travel backward or forward in time, your personal experience would still be experienced now.

And that clock that abruptly wakes you every morning at 6:30 a.m.? It’s just a device designed to repeat a sequence of numbers or swing arms over a series of numbers arranged in a circle. Which can tell you a lot about the appearance of devices designed to repeat a sequence of numbers or swing arms over a series of numbers arranged in a circle. But it says precisely nothing about any “reality” of time.

If the argument is that clocks are synced to the position of the earth in relation to the sun, what time is it if you step off the earth? What if you’re standing on the sun or floating around in space out near Aldebaran? What time is it there? What time was it long before “informed,” 21st century humans roamed the earth, when the planet was a post-supernova molten ball of ore not yet in its current orbit? What time is it if you’re traveling faster than light?

Time to get a new watch, I suppose.

You might also consider the individualized perception of time. Here are two ways of looking at it, both using dualistic poles as reference points:

The first is in regard to the phrase, “The more you do, the more you can do.” While this is true in the sense that the more you do in life the more you will grow and learn and become more capable, there is also a more subtle reference to the dimension of time.

When you don’t do much and see time as lacking/limited, you’re “hastening time”; meaning, it really does seem 100% as if you don’t have enough time to get stuff done. Contrarily, when you remain active and put little if any focus on time, although time may seem to progress quickly (at least in hindsight), you’ll find that you can and do accomplish far more than in inert-lack mode; in other words, you’re “stretching time.”

The second way is thus: On one hand, there is the person in a torture chamber (like you at the dentist’s office at 8:00 a.m., for example) whose experience of “minutes” is more like “hours.” On the other hand, there’s the person at a theme park—or maybe it’s the dentist himself!—who experiences “hours” like “minutes.”

Being that individual perception and awareness are everything, that nothing would be without them, what can be concluded is that time is solely a function of individual awareness, of one’s mental perception as related to any given experience that observer is having in any given moment within space…

A space that does not exist, either. How can it, if time does not exist?

If all is now, then all must be here, as a point; what some call “The Singularity” or “Oneness,” wherein separation and distance are merely perceptual.

Consider in example the observation made in a quantum physics experiment: When two entangled particles are measured, regardless of how far they are separated, the measurement of one simultaneously effects the behavior of the other. This has resulted in what is named “non-locality”—a scientific way of saying, “time and space are illusory.”

The Time and Space Paradox

All in all, perception and awareness are everything.

No-thing can exist if it is not contained within awareness, if it cannot be perceived. And if it can be, then it must, necessarily, in this life as we think we know it, be part of the space-time continuum. Which is striking because if time can be so malleable, as seen in the examples provided, then it must follow that time is an illusion. Which would mean, inescapably, that space is also an illusion.

Which would very much suggest that physical life itself is an illusion.

The Singularity

I hope you'll take an extra 3 minutes to watch this video titled: "The Universe Explained In Under 3 Minutes." Although short, I feel it does a great job is summing up the time and space paradox.

Monday, December 12, 2016

You Don't Know What You've Got When You're Gone

by John Boodhansingh of Zero Mindfulness

“You don’t know what you’ve got until it’s gone,” they say.

How come?

Many would reason that it’s just the way life is; a part of human nature.

To some extent I agree with this, but it’s certainly not my final answer.

How It’s Been

For ages untold we’ve lived very limited lives. Our primary driving force has been the constant fight for resources, survival, dominion, and so forth. Add in countless self-protective beliefs and fears passed down through the generations, and we have quite an intense concoction of perception-distorting and life-inhibiting ick.

All this internal weight has us setting our focus of concern and personal identity on a difficult past and an uncertain future. This offers a large clue as to why we don’t know what we’ve got until it’s gone: Though living our lives moment-by-moment in appearance, due to a lack of conscious body, mind, spirit integration, we do not actually engage with each arising moment anew but as a reaction (subtle or overt) to the perceptual distortion of a past-future lens.

And so through to the present day, even while a great many of us live in relative safety and abundance, most of humanity still plods along with the old weight.

We take the bus into center city and can’t take our eyes off the scruffy-looking man with all the piercings and tattoos. Though we don’t know him, our mind never stops imagining all the scenarios of how he’s a threat to our well-being. So zeroed-in are we in our automatic-judgment focus that we miss the numerous signs of his friendliness.

We go on vacation and take 195 thousand pictures to remember the past on some future day. “My, oh, my,” we say when it’s time to leave. “That went so fast.”

We drive to work with our focus on the job we’ve been busy with. When we finally arrive, a coworker asks how the traffic was and we cannot seem to recall it.

We’ve been living whole lives like this, so fixated on past and future and false threats that attentiveness to now has been virtually unimaginable. Most humans, I'm sure, have never even considered that they've not been present. Our bodies are here, and our minds are merely focused on matters that are either perceived as life-critical or part of the seemingly unavoidable thought-stream of “who I am.”

The Old Saying

The old saying—“You don’t know what you’ve got until it’s gone”—is one suggestive of fear, regret, lack, loss, and longing. It invokes sadness and dissatisfaction at the transience of things, at the brevity of experience.

Thankfully, these things are not inherent human concerns—they are either the ways of creation’s flow (transience, for instance), or they are the consequence of learned egoic grasping for what is not. (The most base survival fears are fine. It’s the mentalization of fear, “the story,” that consumes sanity.)

Life focuses on life—now—and all is eternally perfect and precise. Which means the perceived struggle is not an external inconsistency but an internal one. Only to an untamed ego-mind is the now not good enough and the past and future made vastly more important. An imbalanced psyche, emotional instability, and a troubled physical experience are the natural outcome.

No wonder we don’t know what we’ve got until it’s gone: We’re typically so caught up in past and future, rather than what is occurring immediately before and within us, that we miss out on fully experiencing the present moment—the only when there ever is. A large part of our “experiencing” therefore only comes to us in hindsight, if we can remember it at all.

A Brighter Future

I have a new saying:

You don’t know what you’ve got when you’re gone.

Because life is always unfolding here and now—it’s we who have been away.

As a collective, this is what we are now learning. We are not our past and future: neither have any power over us unless we consent.

Which is to say that we can free ourselves from the shackles of fear, of regret, of loss and longing, of lack and disappointment; we can cease our grasping for what is not.

Which is to say that, just as the rest of life flows, so can we flow with the ever-renewing here and now unfoldment of all things, experiencing life fully in each moment.

To do so, we must shift our attention to what is happening right here and now; we must see life as painted over a canvas of silence and stillness rather than under a set of self-betraying beliefs and fears.

What could be more straightforward than that?

Nothing. Because we are already here and now. There’s really nothing to do except be.

Friday, December 9, 2016

Words Are For the Herds - Part 2

by John Boodhansingh of Zero Mindfulness

[Updated 12/27/16. See “Anagrams” section.]

Back in November of 2015, I posted a blog titled, “Words Are for the Herds.” I recommend checking it out. It’s serious, but it’s fun at the same time—a break from my usual.

What follows is Part 2. Like the first part, I’m going to take everyday words and examine them under unconventional lighting. My intention is to show you how words are more than mere letter arrangements with agreed upon meanings.

When we hear a phrase like, “Words have power,” we’re prone to first (and maybe only) thoughts such as the hurt of verbal bullying. Deeper, and we might think of the way we sign our names at the bottom of incomprehensible, legally-texted documents and wonder if we’re not giving our souls away.

While these can all be accurate, limited for nearly everyone is an awareness of the base energetic attachment and manifestation potential that words have. Limited for nearly everyone is an oft-spontaneous insight into the unconventional breakdown of words and the variations of inconspicuous meanings this gives rise to.

Sounds intense, or just an over-exaggeration, to describe words this way, I know. But without a grasp on the deeper implications of a language (English, in this case), we miss out on the truth of what it is we’re giving up—and we are giving something up—typically unwittingly—when we take our language for granted. When in this state of ignorance, like I’d begun Part 1 by saying, it ends up that words are not used by people so much as people are used by words.

A Few Notes On Energy

Let’s start off with some words on energy.

Why is energy important? Because energy is everything. Every thought, every utterance, every person, every object, every everything is made of energy. And each of these things carries some varying degree of energy which allows each to be more or less different from everything else. Furthermore, the only reason any given thing exists is because attention is focused onto it. If something isn’t given energy, it will cease to exist (at least as far as a human viewer’s conscious awareness is concerned).

Words are energy, and energy is power. If there is any intensity of emotion behind words being used, this will increase that word’s energetic power. The intent behind words is also of concern—many cruel people have used words such as “love” and “peace” to fool and harm a great many people over the ages.

What we need to know is that a word’s power is personal, and often collective, energy being focused on what exists. In other words, whether we want something or not, by the fact that we put energy into it, we perpetuate that very thing. It is our energy, our very life force, that we direct toward things (and usually very foolish things, if I might say so myself) to a loss of this energy we need to sustain our lives clearly, healthily, joyfully.

Are you grasping yet why excess and/or ignorant verbiage is unwise and why not understanding the implications of the words we speak can be so harmful? Just because words may appear as naught by a device for communicating ideas does not mean that the words used do not have a large impact on both personal lives and those of the collective.

Knowingly or unknowingly, as long as we give a thing our energy we’re effectively telling life: Yes, I support this. Please give me more.

Adding On the Misery

Seeing what’s been stated here about life supporting what we focus on, we’d do well to evaluate how we focus on issues such as difficulty and poverty/lack and the like.

We get into a tough situation and we can’t stop thinking about how rough and painful it is, how we don’t deserve it, and so on. Or we’ve got a mindset that’s focused on lack and so, even though we have plenty of food and clothes, an education, a job, a spouse (who also has a job), kids, cars, a house, and any or all of the “extras” like cable, home phone, cell phone, internet, a boat, an RV, and insurance for everyone and everything, we still repeatedly tell ourselves, Money is tight. I can’t pay for [this], I have to cut out [that].

If we find ourselves in such a situation, let’s look at the words we’re directing our heavy fear attention on. Right there is a lot of life energy focusing on the negative. We say we don’t want and don’t have, yet this negative is almost all we think about. If we don’t want or have and would like the opposite, why don’t we drop our intent attachment to that which is clearly sustaining our misery? After all, especially in the “don’t have enough” situations, it is so common that the very things we say we don’t have enough of are already in our hands!

Obscene Truths

Now for the actual picking-apart of words. We’ll begin with “obscene truths.” This category is for the set of words that we repeat over and over again without a second thought but with insight would see how the words are indicative of very self-serving intentions.

Human Resources. At least here in the US, the branch of a business that deals with employment concerns is labeled “Human Resources.” Not “Employment-“ or “Employee Services” or some such thing, but “Human Resources.” If we understand the horrendous condition of US Big Business (which is neither accident nor necessity), it’s clear that this one can be taken quite literally.

A “human” is meant to be a unique, free, creative being of the highest level of intelligence and self-awareness. Due to heavy programming, quite the contrary has become the case. And a “resource”? We generally refer to resources as expendable forms of potential energy—coal, oil, hydropower, etc.—required to satisfy the demands of a certain objective. In the case of “human resources,” yep… “Use ‘em, abuse ‘em, and lose ‘em—there’re always more.”

To spice things up even further, let's look at the word employ, itself. The prefix "em-" is defined in ways such as "to cause to be in" and "to confine in." The word "ploy" is defined as a "ruse," or "trick to gain the advantage." Which makes employment by another as: "the state of being confined in a trick situation that will give someone else the upper hand."

Another "obscene truth" is a term that comes from the military and has to do with a soldier’s deployment schedule: ship date. Which is to say: Soldiers are expendables purchased by the Military Industrial Complex (MIC) and trained (i.e.: brainwashed) to behave like automatons. In having any sense for the true intentions of the MIC, we’d recognize that “ship date” isn’t an accident either. The MIC has no positive intentions, and never have. Presidents have even warned of this in public speeches. “Shipped” is a word for objects, not people.

Same Word Different Meaning Same Meaning

The example word here is contract.

How did you just read it: CON-tract or con-TRACT? Well, guess what? It doesn’t really matter because they both mean the same damn thing.

“Con-TRACT” --> to pull inward.
“CON-tract” --> to make an agreement with someone else.

When something con-TRACTS, it compresses, it shrinks, it gets smaller.

When we make an agreement with someone else, we sign (or shake or pinky swear on) what is ultimately an energetic CON-tract. This energetically attaches us to that which is agreed upon. In making this CON-tract, we con-TRACT our personal energy supply for extraneous things.

This explains why some people just completely and randomly lose their shit. Totally out of touch with satisfying their own needs, they are intensely invested in the negatives of life imposed by others. This severe and unnatural contraction isn’t a stable way for humans to exist. To be sending one’s energy out in a billion-some unhealthy directions, the person must necessarily get smaller and smaller but with an increasingly proportional need to expand. At some point, they must go—


Existential Truths

This next word type I’m going to call "Existential Truths." It’s accurate, I think, but also feels to me like a misnomer. For now, it’s the best I’ve got.

Individual --> “In-divide-you-all”
To appear individual, all must be divided. This could infer a collective: When all are working as one, there is no division, no all that is divided. Alternately, the implication could be of a single person’s non-integrity: When our mind is in a state of dis-integration, all that [you] are is divided. We therefore appear in a reality of wholeness as residing in an illusion of completely separate entities.

Individuality --> “In-divide” and “Duality”
Duality implies division: The dis-integrated mind perceives separation of what is actually one. The illusion of duality exists in this apparent divide. The experience of duality ends where mind integration, self-realization, begins.

Realize --> “Real-eyes”
In a far truer sense than how we typically use this word, realization not a simple remembering such as, “I realized the meeting was at 6 o’clock, not 5.” It is instead a word indicative of profound insight. And what is insight…?

Get it? This one should be so easy…!

“In-sight,” or sight within. True realization is the seeing of truth within—truth that is witnessed by one’s very being rather than a mental notice or recall or a physical input from an external stimuli.

Anagrams [Updated 12/27/16.]

An anagram is a word that spells another word (or more) when its letters are rearranged. Like Evangelist, which is “EVILS AGENT.”

For this set of words, my inspiration came from the US’s absolute disaster of a for-supreme-profit-to-the-indifference-of-human-health Big Medical and Big Pharmaceutical systems. Inputting some medications into the anagram finder box at, I found the first two of the following:

Humira --> “I HARM U”
“Humira” is an immunosuppressant with side effects including an increased risk of infections, heart failure, and cancer. But at least it masks arthritis pain!

Acetaminophen --> “AN HEPATIC OMEN”
“Hepatic” is a medical term used to describe liver-related things. “Acetaminophen” is a very common substance used in over-the-counter pain medications—and has the side effect of liver damage.

Delsym --> “MYS LED” --> Mis-led
This third one I noted myself one day in an advertisement. It’s simply a reversal of the letters and a minor deviation in pronunciation. This particular drug is used as a cough suppressant… I suppose we could make “my sled” out of it too. Hop on “my sled” for a speedy ride down hormone-block hill and crash right into deeper sickness.

[Update 12/27/16:](As a side note: Unless I say specifically otherwise, I do not necessarily believe, for example, that some cruel bastard is sitting in a Big Pharma office trying to come up with inside joke, anagram names for destructive medications. Maybe there is, I don’t know. But I do feel strongly that much of this word work simply comes down to the wittiness of life itself.)

I take back most of the last paragraph. Do I still think that some of this word meaning business comes down to the wittiness of life itself? Yes. But, keeping in mind what I'm already aware of, what I’d seen on Christmas Day got me thinking it highly likely that, at least in the case of medication, there really is some cruel bastard sitting in a Big Pharma office trying to come up with inside joke names for destructive medications.

I was watching TV and an ad came on for the drug Namzaric. My attention immediately focused on how the name might be a disguise for crappy intentions. It came to me easily enough: flip the name around and give a slight twist to the pronunciation.

Namzaric --> cirazman --> (with a hard "c" sound...) “CIR-AY-ZEE-MAN” --> “Crazy man”

Not the name of a drug for diabetes or eczema, but for Alzheimer’s—an illness with symptoms such as confusion, disorientation, delusion, personality changes, lack of restraint, hallucination, and paranoia.

Coincidence? I call bullshit on that.

Expanding Perception

With this article, the last one, and any research and insight of your own, you will come to find that words aren’t mere words. Some, yes. But a great many of them are somehow suggestive of things that can’t be caught by average perception.

In choosing conscious expansion, we begin noticing the more subtle, energetic, and implicit nature of things. We “real-eyes” the immense power we wield in using words—or not using them.

As our awareness becomes more and more integrated, it seems natural to be less inclined to talk, to buy all the ego-mind chatter, to take personally the verbose emptiness that the external world (other people, advertisements, TV, evangelists, etc.) act as if is so true and important.

Because words are mostly for the herds. To the false self, words make definitions, definitions create a misleading perceptual solidity of what is not actually real, and all of life becomes a lie. The energetic power of one’s self—that is one’s self—ends up being exhausted in 48 billion different directions, none of which have any bearing on who we truly are or what truly is.

Thus are the words of Plato fitting:

“Wise men talk because they have something to say; fools talk because they have to say something.”

Click here for: “Words Are for the Herds – Part 3”.

Monday, December 5, 2016

When Protective Love Sours

by John Boodhansingh of Zero Mindfulness

Have you ever made yourself vulnerable by behaving out of norm or expectation—even in a way that could have been quite beneficial—only to be reamed out by a parent or some other authority figure?

I’m sure you have. But have you also understood the mentality from which that attack had come?

You may have come up with a number of reasons more mature than, “Because they’re assholes!” But I’m going to go out on a limb and guess it’s far less likely you’ve come up with the same one I offer here.

Skewed Perception

When we make ourselves vulnerable by forgoing normalcy, expectation, and so on, other people may attack us for it.

Not that these others would necessarily think themselves to be making an attack.

Sometimes, yes. When a person behaves in a way they know is going to sting another while having no constructive purpose, this is an obvious attack. And I think most people would realize it as such within, regardless of what rationalizations they may try giving themselves or others.

But there’s another form of attack that’s founded in negativity without appearing particularly negative to the ones acting it out. This is for the reason that the behavior is believed to be based in love. Trouble is, this “love,” as it is experienced in the realm of duality, must be distorted in some way from true Love.

Of course, this distortion isn’t recognized—the attacking would cease if it were. Such recognition takes brutal self-honesty plus a sharp perception and self-awareness. If one is actively and steadily going on the offensive, they mustn’t have the wherewithal to comprehend the implications of their doings.

Intending Protection

So, what is the other form of attack that comes in the perceptual guise of “love”?

Suppose that half way through college you were to tell your parents you’re moving to another country. Forget the degree, forget a “proper” future, you’re going to Iceland.

“WHAAAAAT!?” your parents shriek. “What about your future? Your relationship? Your job? What about starting a family, a steady income, paying off your loans? This is insanity! Only an idiot would do something like this. You’ve hardly been out of your own hometown and now you say you’re moving 13,000 miles away! You know nothing about it. You don’t know the native language or customs. Don’t you realize how dangerous this could be!?”

The berating goes on, and gossip follows. Many times the situation is worsened with children who disappoint an authority figure—especially their parents—and are spanked, grounded, belittled, and so on.

This other type of attack, which can very much hurt the vulnerable ones, is, interestingly enough, a distorted-love effort at protection.

An Alternate Perspective

You told your parents you’d decided to leave for Iceland, and they instantly ripped you a new one. Or maybe you didn’t finish your dinner so they grounded you for two weeks. Or maybe your bodybuilder father ridiculed you constantly for being a wimpy piece of junk because you’d preferred to play video games than be a tough guy gym junkie like him. The possible scenarios are endless.

I’d like you to place yourself in one such occurrence—choosing one from personal experience is best.

Have it in mind?

Now I would like you to view this experience in the light of a perspective that could well be beyond any other you may have come up with as to why, when you’ve made yourself vulnerable, that someone like a parent or teacher would be so willing to hurt you.

Consider this: They fear for your safety.

Yes, the discomfort they perceive as a consequence of your behavior is their own imbalance being reflected back to them. They are the ones taking unkindly to it and then blaming and hurting you. But it’s important to understand that such offenders don’t see things this way; they don’t see their false beliefs or fears or traumas playing out. If they do happen to notice in any way, they do just as we’ve all been taught: they immediately disavow personal responsibility.

Attackers behave as they behave because they think they're keeping themselves and others safe from imaginary threats perceived to be very, very real. They therefore have no grasp on the fact that they are not actually providing loving action as they believe. It’s simply not possible because their deeper sense of true Love is all intermingled with piles of inner garbage they'd associated with that Love. Attackers are a product of their (mainly) parent-derived programming. Even the most horrific of junk is assumed (by a child) to be Love because children want only that and know no difference in their naivete and innocence that such negativity is not Love.

So, distorted though it may be, when you choose to be vulnerable, offensive moves made against you are often attempts to protect you. Those who attack you want what they want for you because they see you as being in danger and fear for your safety. In the name of “love,” they don’t want to see you get hurt.

Ironic, is it not?


What then is there to do but forgive them? If we see the truth and the attackers don’t realize what they’re doing, what is there to hold against them? To blame them for? To be angry about and hold a grudge against them for?

They realize neither that there is no immediate danger to protect from nor that they are actually causing more damage than if they’d done nothing at all. And they can’t even imagine the possibility that, left to one’s own devices, making one’s self vulnerable might actually be—i.e.: usually is—far better off than sheltering and belittlement.

Their intentions, perceived by them as good, are only as high as their programming allows. They don’t understand the harm they’re truly doing. They may recognize some level of harm, like parents who spank their children, but they must still believe for some reason that this “preventative” hurt is offsetting the potential hurt of vulnerability.

In any of its dualistically-skewed varieties, offenders are showing their version of “love” the best way they know how.

Impersonality and Gratitude

If you were in a burning house and someone went in and saved you, you would probably thank them profusely for saving your life, for lovingly protecting you from severe harm. Similar goes here. Danger is perceived and then action is taken to protect you, the seemingly vulnerable. You may get burned on the way through, but at least you still have your life, so the logic could go.

Taking a higher viewpoint, you should now be able to see that there is nothing to take personally, nothing to take offense to.

Hopefully you’ll even realize the great blessing of the hurt as it’s a guidepost for in-looking and self-realization. Which is to say that potentially great healing is on offer.

A choice thus comes to you: Will you hold on, or will you forgive and gratefully accept the opportunity for self-discovery?

Wearing the Attacker’s Shoes

If you find that you’re responsible for attacking others under the guise of “loving” protection, now is a great time to do some self-inquiry. You could ask yourself about what you might be trying to get or to protect.

Superficially, you might imagine that by, say, grounding your daughter for going out to play after dark is done so that she learns “the rules,” so that she remembers “who’s in charge,” or because you want her to “be safe” that you see it as justifiable to teach her to stay in “the hard way.”

Pulling out a pen and paper might bring you to a very different conclusion. You might start coming up with realizations such as you treating your daughter exactly as your parents had treated you—with hurt in the name of “love.” You might find that you seek to control your daughter because when her location is unknown, especially after dark, you feel powerless, helpless.

Or suppose your daughter is a daily marijuana smoker and you rage at her daily for doing it. As her parent you may think, “It’s illegal, it’s bad, it’s stupid, I hate it, she’s obsessed,” and so on. But none of these feelings offer any objectivity whatsoever. So stop. Take a few steps back and reevaluate each concern. Do you actually know anything about marijuana aside from what “the authorities” have told you is “true”? Could you hate it because you’d had a bad experience with it yourself when you were younger? Figure it out.

Another very useful question to ask is why your daughter might have taken on any perceived-to-be-negative behavior she has. This is to be asked in light of the question: Could you as her parent be the principal driver of your daughter’s behavior? Could you regularly be hurting her in the name of “love” and she’s looking for an escape? Might you not give her enough attention for the positive, so she uses negativity to get more? Could you have her constantly walking on eggshells in fear of being punished, so she uses smoking to keep relaxed? Although this line of questioning may not bring you exacting answers, it will help you to reveal your own junk, as will it will help you to see that there are many perspectives—some far more rational—beyond your limited, “this-is-how-it-is” perspective.

And, finally, be mindful that the primary teachers of a child—no matter what the age—are his or her parents. If your daughter is addicted, figure out if you are the one who’s teaching it. Be intensely honest and take great care not to get caught up in appearances. No, you may have never smoked marijuana in your life. But addiction is addiction is addiction in that the same themes of belief in lies, avoidance of discomfort, and so forth underlie all of it. No matter what you may talk, if you’re daily walk is one of, say, drinking or workaholism, the underlying energy she’s picking up is one that says: “Addiction is an acceptable practice to avoid pain.”

All told, you could find quite a number of issues, none of which your daughter is directly responsible for. But, consequently, a great many of which you could be hurting her for out of fear of facing your own discomfort.

To those on the giving end, I will say to you verbatim that which I offered those on the receiving end:

Taking a higher viewpoint, you should now be able to see that there is nothing to take personally, nothing to take offense to.

Hopefully you’ll even realize the great blessing of the hurt as it’s a guidepost for in-looking and self-realization. Which is to say that potentially great healing is on offer.

A choice thus comes to you: Will you hold on, or will you forgive and gratefully accept the opportunity for self-discovery?

Disclaimer: To those on the receiving end: This has nothing to do with being abused and using my words as a rationalization to "forgive and accept" and then allow it to continue. If you’re in that kind of situation, get out as fast as possible. Walk out, call the police and have the abuser arrested, or whatever you need to do to stand up for yourself. Then get to (inner-)work on yourself, because you have a lot to take care of. I do not endorse sugar-coating, delusion, or foolishness.

Thursday, November 24, 2016

TXT MSG: “You’re Dumped.”

by John Boodhansingh of Zero Mindfulness

I once overheard a woman complaining to her neighbor. The way I could hear this woman belting out her woes from 150 feet away, it seems to me that she wasn’t very worried about maintaining her privacy.

And why would she be concerned with her personal issues being overheard? Self-sustaining victims typically aren’t.

Of the conversation, this is what I picked up:

“He always has his face in his phone! …I was out driving to [indiscernible] and he sent me a text message that said: [indiscernible]…

“I mean, really!? What kind of man are you!?”

I cannot say what words filled in the “[indiscernible]” blanks. But it doesn’t matter in that specifics are irrelevant. What is relevant are the underlying themes.

We’re all aware of how text messaging has enabled our society to take a turn for the worst by allowing us to text important messages in order to avoid uncomfortable feelings and face-to-face contact.

TXT MSG: You’re dumped.

Let’s take a closer look at what’s happening here. I will continue on with a breakdown of the above incident, but I’d ask you to consider, with brutal honesty, how this may apply to your own life. The woman’s words are meant as a springboard for self-healing, not as an open door for scorn, self-righteousness, and so on.

“What Kind of Man Are You!?”

The ranting woman was so certain that the guy on the other end of the phone was at fault. And, you know, if I were to do as she was and focus solely on her physical experience, then I would have to agree—that guy must be a total a-hole.

But, of course, I have no interest in judging the guy and am much more inclined to consider how the woman’s experience “out there” mirrored her unaddressed and imbalanced experience “in here.”

After the guy said something she didn’t take very kindly to, she said bitterly to her neighbor but as if to the guy himself: “What kind of man are you!?”

Perhaps the better question for the woman to have asked is: “What kind of woman am I?”

By raving to her neighbor, the woman revealed to the world that she believes herself to be a helpless victim. How can I say this? Because people who don’t see themselves as victims neither complain to others (or themselves) about their life discomforts, nor do they choose the other pole of trying to avoid their discomforts completely by covering them with a “life is rainbows and gumdrops” facade.

If the woman wasn’t a self-affirming victim, her neighbor would have had little if any part in what had occurred. Why? Because the woman would have stood up for herself. She would have commanded what she wanted up front—respect—and thus proven to herself that she’s worthy of it. But she didn’t do this. She instead resisted the truth of her discomfort—that she needs to personally stand up for herself in order to claim herself worthy of respect—and then later on tried to prove to her neighbor why she’s didn’t get respect but should have.

Although this incident I’d witnessed had appeared in this particular fashion, it’s not all that different from the instances that so many people in today’s “civilized” world regularly go through; that is, that so many people regularly put themselves through.

Yes, sure, maybe a wife or husband or friend or great aunt thrice removed has some inner garbage causing them to dump their hurt on other people via heartless text messages. But more importantly, especially when it comes to relationships where these similar instances come up over and over and over again, what is it about people who receive these messages that recurrently attract them to the same hurtful experiences?

If you find yourself in this boat, you may find it worth your while to get out a pen and paper and figure out your role. Whatever you’ve said about the other person, turn it around on yourself. Also consider what you’re trying to get, something of which you will not know you are trying to get until you inquire. This could be respect, validation, approval, etc.; there could be a mirror of your father’s behavior and you perceive and “accept” the trouble spot as “unconditional love”; and so forth.

How will you know you’re on the correct path?
  1. You’ll see that what you blamed on others begins with you.
  2. You’ll be both amazed and horrified.
  3. As you change yourself, you’ll find that the daily experience that meets you in the external world will change as well.

“He Always Has His Face In His Phone!”

The raving woman was so ticked off in part because the guy “always has his face in his phone.”

What is evident in this is that the guy is addicted. Which leads to 2 questions, both of which have answers that may surprise you:
  1. What is the cause of addiction?
  2. To what is the guy addicted?
If you have any conventional definitions of what the cause of addiction is, you can forget about them. These ideas and beliefs (ex: “it’s a genetic predisposition”) are crafted and reinforced by a society that refuses to face the truth. Hence, why addiction resolution is infrequent.

Addiction is the behavior people take on when they are disconnected from themselves, when they see life as meaningless and themselves as worthless and helpless. People become addicted (to cell phones, alcoholism, food, etc. because they subconsciously feel a ginormous void within themselves. They wish not to face the trouble spots in their external experience, either not knowing how to deal with them or not wanting to deal with them, and so distract themselves by hiding away in the gray-area netherworld in between “in here” and “out there.”

As for what the guy is addicted to, yes, sure, his cell phone. But far more importantly he’s addicted to his lowly self-beliefs, his fears of being candid with the woman, and, we could only imagine, a whole host of other inner garbage.

But we mustn’t forget about the mirror aspect. It wouldn’t be right to point out the guy’s imbalanced ways as though there’s nothing in it for the woman—of course there is.

Clearly, as revealed by his phone fixation, the guy is an “avoider.” Which is important to see for the reflected implication for the woman.

  1. What is the woman avoiding?
  2. To what is the woman addicted?
Recall, the woman was not talking to the man but instead shouting her predicament at her neighbor. Which is to say that she is also an avoider, avoiding talking truth face-to-face with the man. Seeing it in this light, they’re not so much different, are they?

When we’re willing to face our shit, we face it at its source—within—and, if necessary, at its immediate external reflection—in the woman’s case, with the man himself. We wouldn’t rant to our neighbor about it, placing all sorts of blame and pretending we’re helpless victims in dire need of an external savior.

As for what the woman is addicted to—think about it for a minute… She was making herself a victim. Indeed, she was actively trying to prove that she is a victim. Which isn’t some freak thing that people occasionally do. It’s a behavior consistent with a thoroughly-embedded internal program. Meaning: The woman has done this or similar very many times before. Meaning: The woman is addicted to her pain because her pain allows her to “prove” that she is, in “fact,” a helpless victim in need of a savior as defined by her beliefs and fears.

The Parental Connection

One other critical piece of awareness we need to see here, one that is, at least in my own experience, vital to successfully understanding self and other, is recognizing the parent-child connection to suffering.

Since the nature of physical life is “learning through reflection,” until healing takes place, we are all unconsciously attracted to others who reflect our inner distortions—these distortions coming primarily from our parents.

In the overarching example, some parental reflections may be observed as follows:

As a child, the woman likely had a father who was also an avoider. He didn’t face his problems head on—i.e.: rather than working troubles out with his wife/her mother—he hid in drinking, his work, or any other thing. He played aloof in order to draw attention to himself in attempt to “prove” to himself that he is worthy of that attention. Similarly, the woman’s mother would have offered the puzzle-piece reflection of the woman’s father.

Knowing no different as a child, the woman had perceived all these distortions as “what ‘unconditional love’ is.” This subconscious accumulation of false beliefs and fears are now what she unwittingly attracts to herself and is attracted to. No matter the pain, no matter the suffering.

You As You

If you find yourself in any similar situation(s), you would do well to ask yourself: What do I really want? What do I really need? What lesson(s) is my soul guiding me toward by means of this unpleasant experience?

Answering shallowly out of the habits and warped perception of broken programming, you may jump to statements of blame and condemnation. I just want my husband to respect me. I wish my wife would stop treating me like a baby. I wish my friend would take the hint that I’m uncomfortable with his behaviors. I wish my son would listen to me.

But what you must do here is take responsibility for your own internal garbage. Because what you truly want has nothing to do with blame or condemnation. What you truly want doesn’t even have anything to do directly with the person you’re pointing a finger at.

What you truly want is love, approval, validation, respect, and so forth—from yourself, to yourself.

Meaning: You need to face you’re crap. You are your own savior. You are the giver and the receiver of whatever it is you truly want and need.

If someone else could save you, they’d have done it by now. But they can't, and therefore won't. You have to save yourself.

It's why others are here as others, and why you are here as you.

Monday, November 21, 2016

How To Remove False Beliefs and Fears

by John Boodhansingh of Zero Mindfulness

When it comes to the process of self-healing, people are often told to let go of old beliefs and fears.

This sounds like a great idea, but how does one let go of mental constructs? It’s not like someone is being told to throw out molding food. In this blog post, the “how” (that I personally use) is what I will provide for you.


The most vital determinant of whether letting go will occur or not is your willingness to let go.

Which one of the following 5 items do you align with?
  1. I don’t want to let go.
  2. I pretend I want to let go.
  3. I think I want let go.
  4. I want to let go but I’m going to hang on a little bit while trying to change and see what happens.
  5. I am committed to letting go of all my “comforts” such as “knowing,” “having,” “who I am,” etc. and willingly step into a space of uncertainty, vulnerability, and impersonality.
If you picked #5, read on. If you picked any of #’s 1-4, you’re more than welcome to read on, but I’m not sure there’s any point. Because looking within and resolving issues is sort of like waking up inside a burning house—you’re on the second floor, the fire has taken over the first floor, and so no matter how you try to get out the potential for discomfort is very high. For some, wishing never to have woken from sleep is the preferred option.


When you first set off on the journey of self-healing, you will find it useful to set intentions. Maybe you speak them aloud, maybe you write them down, maybe you put them on a sticky note on your bathroom mirror and reread them every time nature calls. Do whatever feels appropriate to you.

Since what is perceived “out there” is a reflection of what is happening “in here,” by setting a heartfelt intention you tell Life what it is you want and Life sees to it that you get what you need to accomplish your goal.

As you progress, you’ll find that you move deeper into the flow of things, at which point your intention-making process may change. You might just make a simple statement to Self, God, Creator, Life (choose your favorite) about what you’d like, or maybe you need only move your attention in the desired direction, and things will be set into motion.

Think of it like you’re boating down a river. Your initial intentions got you into the boat and into the water. Once you’re centered and oriented, you need only row a little this way or that way in the direction of interest. You come to live your intentions spontaneously.

Meditation and Mantra

In Western society we’ve effectively been taught that we are our thoughts. “I think therefore I am.” And, indeed, we only seem to notice the mind due to its activity; when the mind is quiet, it’s as if we go temporarily unconscious.

So the advice is to meditate regularly, to mindfully merge with the silence. This practice is critical to noticing that there is, in fact, space between each of your thoughts, that you are not your thoughts, and that you thus do not have to pay the Incessant Chatterer any attention. This enables you to gradually step out of all your unconscious-seeming-conscious life experiences by denying energy to your faulty programming. Only from this space can you make truly conscious choices.

As meditation is basically a thought monitor and soul awareness clarifier, the practice aids tremendously in bringing to light false beliefs and fears and reveals the inanity of them. In time, much of this nonsense will float away on its own due to your lack of attentive energy for support.

Mantra is also great tool for both mindfulness and self-realization. It is useful for mindfulness because it’s you deciding the thought you want to have and then repeating it a billion plus a billion times to the disregard of all others. The benefits toward self-realization come when the mantra you repeat is directed toward your higher spiritual good, toward God.

Perhaps the most powerful form of mantra are those written in Sanskrit or a Sanskrit-derived language. Such languages have been very spirit-consciously created and thus carry a power that, by the vibrations of the sounds themselves, naturally resonate with the highest and deepest.

Statements of Release

With the above foundational chunks in place, and with time and practice, you will become steadily mindful of any thoughts to arise. Assuming you’ve been doing the other necessary self-help work to understand the varying ways in which issues present themselves, you’ll find it increasingly easy to recognize what programming any given thought implies. To which the question comes: What is there to do about these thoughts, if anything?

Use an I willingly release… statement. Or, if needed, use 20. To explain what I mean, put yourself in the following situation:

Suppose that every day you bring the mail pile into your house and separate it into smaller piles, one for each addressee. (If you live alone, pretend you have 4 cats that also get mail.) While this may appear as kind or efficient or whatever, the deeper concern is whether or not you are being robotic about it. Why don’t you ever put the mail pile on a table and let people sort it out on their own? (Yes, your cats are that capable.)

With some introspection (which, with practice, can be done very quickly), you might realize that you sort the mail because it’s what your dad does or it’s what your mom told you is “the right way.” You’d thus become aware of non-self-integrity issues such as a false sense of responsibility, a false notion of what is “right,” and a lack of free will.

A matter like this could be more troublesome at times when, say, you’re in a hurry to get somewhere. You notice the mail on the way out and decide to quickly bring it inside. But rather than tossing it on the table in a pile and running, you’re strongly drawn to sort it out. You’re stressing because you’re late, and now you’re actively increasing the very stress and lateness you wish you could avoid.

On one hand, just noticing the issue could be enough to clear a path for conscious action in the future. But perhaps not. If no, you could then might make release statements such as:
  • I willingly release the belief that it’s right to sort the mail when I bring it in.
  • I willingly release the belief that it’s my responsibility to sort the mail.
  • I willingly release the fear of being disapproved of by my father for not sorting the mail, for tossing it in a heap on the table.
  • I willingly release the fear of being talked down to by my parents for not being perfect.

While this scenario may seem trivial or silly, it serves two important functions: one is that it provides a clear, conscious path to letting go of old junk, and the other is its utility in developing and maintaining the vigilance required for thorough self-healing. Please don’t think any issue is “too small” where this self-work is concerned. This is especially true if you’re on the path of awakening. Everything has to go.

Two semi-alternatives to the above release statement are:
  • I willingly release the programming in my consciousness that causes me to…
  • I willingly release the need to…

If you were to notice a repetitious negative behavior and not want to get all into it right then and figure it out, you could use one of the above two statements. They don’t necessarily clear anything out, but they do bring more awareness to the subject and get the mind to begin churning things up for healing.

The overall consequence of this work should be a positive change of thought and therefore action. If you find the same junk recycling itself, then you’re going to have to look at the situation from a different perspective. You could still have other mental (and/or emotional) attachments; maybe there’s a childhood trauma being triggered; or you may just need to accept the thoughts as is, be patient, and let time and continued self-healing work do it’s magic.


When issues go away, the thoughts and actions related to them no longer enter your awareness or experience. Someone else could say or do something that leans your awareness toward the old programming, but you simply won’t have the interest to entertain it.

If this is not the case and junk does recur, or if you see that an issue is too deep to be handled with a few thoughts of release, I recommend writing the issue down. This works well for thoughts and actions alike. You could do this in a “Why do I…?” form. For instance, “Why do I feel the need to constantly nod my head and make statements of agreement with people who talk with me, even when I don’t agree with them?”

Journaling is a most useful tool. The ego mind is very sly and can easily evade key details to the resolution of moderate to complex issues when only the mind is used. Physicalizing the mind’s contents is thus a huge aid and should always be an option.

Release through Activity

A very physical way of releasing old beliefs and fears is to act contrary to or in spite of them; see how much substance they actually carry.

And this is not to say that you must become what you disbelieve or fear. The point is to entertain the different, unknown, and feared with an open mind. Instead of outright and unwavering rejection, try to see things from the inside so you can get a more reasonable perspective.

Read a book that disagrees with your childhood upbringing, visit a place you know your friends would be in an uproar if you went, say something silly to a very serious person, don’t wear deodorant for a week, or whatever. These are but a few examples. (Just be sure to work with the additional junk that will be churned up in the process.)

Mental processing can be amazingly useful, but the intellect can only take you so far. Sometimes you have to take action and allow the programming to fall away of its own accord.

Which, if old programming does go, is not to be mistaken as meaning that you’ve lost something. Programming is always garbage. If you still prefer what you’d preferred prior to reading the book or skipping the deodorant, fine. Assuming the programming was erased, at least you can go back to the old as a freer, more compassionate and rational person.

Potential Pitfalls

Potential traps generally appear either when willingness lessens or when self-awareness has not yet developed sufficiently enough. Here are 5 of them:
  1. The first possible hazard may come when using mantra or, as is sometimes synonymized in the West, affirmations. They are different. Mantra involves soul-resonating, ancient and sacred tones, while affirmations are mere mental repetitions of phrases that may be quite insignificant. Be that what it may, focused mental energy is still focused mental energy.

    If you notice you have trouble making money, you may decide to repeat, “I’m now making $1000 dollars per day.” If you’re not into this self-help work as a means of self-realization and don’t wish to repeat a Sanskrit mantra, that’s fine. But you need, then, to be considerate of the practicality of what you’re requesting.

    What are your motives? Are you seeing any raise in your income? Are you making any effort toward that goal? Are you using the mantra/affirmation as an unconscious means of avoiding facing a childhood trauma regarding money and lack?

    If used correctly and with proper timing, even an affirmation like the one just mentioned can do you wonders because it focuses your mind. But if you’re still bogged do with all sorts of negative, contrary beliefs and fears, you could do the affirmation until the day you die and not see positive results.

  2. This second possible pitfall is about thinking yourself to be making positive change only to be moving laterally.

    An example of this could be one in which you’d spent your life doing things your parents’ way, realize you’re doing them for approval rather than in integrity, and then decide to act differently or even contrarily. On one hand, yes, this could be a very good thing. But if your guard is down, the change you make could be more an act of defiance, or rejection. In which case, even if the old programming were to be removed, it would be instantly being replaced with new programming. Again, programming is not your friend.

  3. Another snare lies in the sources of the supposed “new” that you use to help you blow up the old. This trouble spot is likely far less common if you’ve got the willingness and/or awareness, but it’s worth mentioning anyway in the cases when either one slackens off for some reason or when fear really strengthens its grip.

    This is about accepting something that deep down you know is going to prove your old ways “right.” This would be like you being a democrat who goes to a democrat politician to ask what the best political party is. This sounds quite foolish, I think, and if you’ve read this far, perhaps unnecessary to say. But I’ve seen these things done plenty of times. Hopefully you’ll have more sense and self-respect.

  4. This next one can be summed up in the justification, “That’s not part of my life anymore.”

    Keep in mind that wherever you go, there your programming is and will remain until cleared. Revisiting the sort-the-mail example, you could live 4000 miles from your long-dead parents’ home yet continue to play out the same drama. Again: vigilance. Seemingly good, bad, right, wrong, or irrelevant—question everything. Just because your life circumstances have altered in appearance doesn’t mean you’ve begun a new life.

  5. Lastly… Maybe the only real obstacle is your belief that you have a certain obstacle; that if you stopped paying it so much attention it would dissolve on its own. After all, energy is energy: that to which it flows, grows.

Last Words

The key in all of this is to stay present, focused, aware, observing, neutral. Let your experiences play out without becoming them. Your programming cannot perpetuate if energy isn’t supplied for its reinforcement.

Gradually or quickly, your negativity in all its varying forms—even those forms you may have labeled “positivity”—will either pass away naturally or give you the opportunity to see them and consciously choose to let go or hang on. Sometimes letting go means you have to merely make an “I willingly release…” statement; sometimes it could mean you have to leave a 20-year relationship.

The processing is going to be unique for everyone, but there are a number of basic means any given person can use to make the processing easier. May what I’ve provided you with here help you to ease and clarify your path forward—into your own Being.

Friday, November 18, 2016

Hate Does Not Exist

by John Boodhansingh of Zero Mindfulness

No, don’t worry. I’m not going to feed you some New Age-y “there’s only love” nonsense. That is totally not my style.

As usual, I’m going to rip apart misconceptions in order to reveal an immediate yet oft-hidden truth. So-called “hate” is not what you think.

Indeed, hate doesn’t exist. Sure, maybe as a concept, a word, that points to something else. But hate in and of itself, no, it’s empty.

A Self-Experiment

I have a task for you. I would like you to take a few moments to sit still, close your eyes, and tune out the world. Then I want you to bring to your awareness to someone or something you hate—another person would be preferable. (As we just passed through election season, this should not be difficult!)

For some of you New Age and religious folks, I’m going to be blunt about this: It is very likely that you hate at least one person or one thing. Cut the holier-than-thou avoidance crap of, “I love everyone. I just really strongly dislike,” and, “All is love.” Get over yourself. You’re a human being having a human experience.

Anyway… Who’s the first person that comes to mind? Even if it’s your spouse, the person you claim to be in love with forever and ever, just let it be. It’s okay. Go with it. You don’t have to tell anyone, there are probably a billion others who would have the same thought as you, and one of them could very well be your spouse. This is not about a guilt trip. Remember your goal, here: Truth.

Once you have this person in mind, think of something about them that majorly tweaks you. Can you, somewhere within whatever comes up, find hate?

“I hate my boss.” You might say. “He’s a callous son of a bitch. He pushes his employees around. He micromanages and always wants more. He makes 14 million dollars a year while all the workers make minimum wage—we're the very ones who work our asses off so that he can have a business at all! I hate him!”

Have you found hate yet?

How about now?


No, you haven’t. Because it’s not possible. You may have found what you think is hate, what you believe hate feels like, but that’s not it. Right now you’re seeing and feeling what you call hate but then stopping with that concept. It’s like you see a wooden guidepost to a hairier path, get tweaked by what the guidepost says, and then blame it, punch it, and get a splinter from it… Never bothering to take out the splinter… Not even before you circle around to the same guidepost only to punch it again… And again… And again…

The First Layer of “Hate”: The Surface of Things “Out There”

What most people call “hate” doesn’t actually exist. This is regardless of form—hateful thoughts, hate crimes, or whatever.

What does exist, and what we need to address as individuals, are the “hairier paths” to which our apparent hatred is pointing. Let’s look at the above example of a person’s thoughts about his or her boss:

I hate my boss. He’s a callous son of a bitch. He pushes his employees around. He micromanages and always wants more. He makes 14 million dollars a year while all the workers make minimum wage—we're the very ones who work our asses off so that he can have a productive business at all! I hate him!

The word hate is in here twice. Let’s basically forget about both. They’re not concrete enough to be useful. It sort of helps to know they’re there, but such is just a matter of openness; many people thoroughly avoid saying “I hate” as a means of self-protection from their own negative feelings.

So there’s something perceived to be hate. We need to understand what this supposed hate is in reference to because it’s neither what we think it is nor does it just simply happen.

Which leads to the question: What is tangible in the specific issues presented? Callousness, micromanagement, greed, etc.

We can then question each as to how they affect us and why we think they might affect us in such way.

The Second Layer of “Hate”: Rejection of Inner Feelings

Let’s use micromanagement as an example.

You claim to hate your boss because (remember, hate doesn’t just happen) he micromanages you. How does this make you feel? As though you’re not good enough? That you’re unable to think for yourself and make your own intelligent decisions? It makes you frustrated, angry, and resentful? And you blame him for these woes, do you not?

Do you see what I’m getting at? You don’t hate your boss. Rather, you feel frustration and anger and resentment, and you blame your boss for causing the churning up of painful issues that are already within you. Unless you want to use a one-word cover for your personal issues while keeping up the finger of blame, there’s no hate anywhere in this.

“But it’s just not right,” you may clamor. Right or wrong makes no difference. The fact is: it’s happening. And you’re suffering like mad and blaming someone else when you are the cause.

The Third Layer of “Hate”: The Childhood Authority Figure(s)

Once acknowledging such a fundamental truth, we can crawl further down the rabbit hole. To do so, we could inquire as to why we’ve attracted the given experience. A question like this is particularly appropriate for those who have had several jobs and have noticed how most if not all of their bosses had been micromanagers.

This may be rationalized by saying something such as, “Managers are just crappy like that nowadays,” or, “It’s my bad luck.” Problem is, excuses are typically as empty as the idea of hatred is.

You’ve had, say, three bosses who were all micromanagers. Think about this for a minute… Does the essence of micromanagement by an authority figure remind you of anybody? Perhaps when you were a child? A certain pivotal figure in your life from whom you’d learned a great deal about “how life is”…?

And do you suspect that maybe, just maybe, life has drawn you and any less-than-respectful bosses together in order for you to see the childhood authority figure’s junk programming running within you so that you could, with an adult mind, see it, learn from it, and heal it?

The Fourth (and Final) Layer of “Hate”: Core Issues

We’ve seen that when our programming is triggered we drop into negativity. So too have we seen that we’re playing out the same programming we’d played out toward a primary childhood figure of authority. But there’s something else: the lowest depths of this inner rabbit hole are related to our core life struggles.

Continuing with the example: By the fact that you carry a raging sense of all-encompassing and -enshrouding hate and blame, the implication is that you’re doing little if anything to improve your situation. You could get a different job, you could stand up for yourself, you could become a cave-dwelling ascetic. In other words, you could choose to take responsibility, to do any of about 83 million other things than the very same, one, suffering-inducing thing you’ve been doing for the last 5, 15, or 60 years.

Why don’t you get a different job? Why don’t you stand up for yourself? Why don’t you change your life path altogether?

Welcome to the home of core issues.

Self-rejection. Fear of abandonment. Worthlessness. Helplessness. Hopelessness. Uselessness. Too stupid. Too Weak. Inadequate. Fear of punishment. Fear of loss. Fear of rejection. Fear of criticism. Victim mentality. Shame. Guilt. Invisibility. Insecurity. Childhood trauma. Fear of disapproval. Fear of invalidation.

I’m sure I’ve missed a few and not all will necessarily apply to you, but I’ve no doubt you’ll find something pertinent in there.

As the name suggests, core issues are a really big deal. They are the negative, and typically unconscious, drivers of the majority of suffering and inhibition a person experiences in life. If you want to see your suffering come to an end, you must confront these issues.

A Note on Self-Hate

While this writing has been focused on hate directed “out there,” it’s quite common for people to carry hatred toward themselves.

If you notice the latter in yourself, your work is basically the same as above. Start by tossing out the belief that you hate yourself, because you don’t. Then see what triggers you (ex: unhappiness), see how you feel about it (anger, depression, etc.), and then work to understand how you may have learned it (ex: a parent), what you’ve been taught about it (ex: “unhappiness is bad and should be avoided”), and what negativity is at its core (ex: self-rejection out of fear of disapproval for not being happy).

Home Sweet Home

Now that you’ve taken a brief tour around the inner-self rabbit hole, what do you think? Does it feel like home yet!?

Not quite?

Do the work and it will. Slowly but surely. Because the truth is that you are home. It’s just that a load of garbage has accumulated so it’s hard to find a place to sit or the location of the windows.

But thankfully you don’t have to wait until “garbage night” to take out the trash. In life, every moment is garbage night. Toss it, toss it, and toss it. And whenever you find a window, let the light shine in! …And then keep tossing!

An Alternate Perspective to Hatred

Even if we assume hatred does exist as most people currently think of it, it is a really foolish thing to bother one’s self with. “I hate this, and I hate that. I hate him, and I hate her,” people vent. If you find yourself in any remotely similar position—indeed, if you feel hatred toward anything whatsoever—I would like you to consider on what your hatred is founded… I’ll give you a hint: It’s a sand heap that’s already being washed back into the ocean even as you stressfully effort to maintain it.

Here’s the thing: We’ve been taught since time immemorial to love what is good and hate what is bad, to love what is right and hate what is wrong. But all these supposed goods and bads, rights and wrongs are based solely on individual and collective perception. Which means that they’re all based, usually, not on inner wisdom, on Truth, but on ideas originating from “out there” somewhere and somewhen in an ever-changeful and often very confused world.

Beliefs might only be said to be “true” when the setting of life suggests them to be so. Most of the time, however, beliefs are false because the settings in which those beliefs seemed true (or at least appropriate) are no longer present.

It therefore makes a lot of sense for us to regularly evaluate the legitimacy of our beliefs and let go of the ones that no longer apply. Strangely, this type of sensibility has not yet been developed in most humans as worthy of having. For, in fact, the majority of people hold on to their beliefs for dear life, instead preferring cognitive dissonant “knowing”—our world doesn’t match what’s going on in our minds, but, hey, at least we’re “comfortable”… just like the rest of the herd…

Folks, do yourselves the favor of reassessing your beliefs and releasing those that either seem to no longer apply to life or which you'd taken on just because someone told you something was true. And then release every other belief. Because, ultimately, every belief is false.

Belief creates separation, separation drives fear, fear drives what we’ve come to call “hatred.” The result is a manipulated perception that reinforces the apparent actuality of the same beliefs that had created the whole mess to begin with.

Your beliefs of this or that merely inhibit.

By contrast, the Truth just is, now. It stands completely for itself, by itself.

The only thing any of us need to do is see it, and hatred will disappear like it had never existed.

Tuesday, November 8, 2016

"Awareness of Truth Ends..."

The Roof Is Leaking: A Rant On Religious Corruption and Misguidance

by John Boodhansingh of Zero Mindfulness

Now the end of the commandment is charity out of a pure heart, and of a good conscience, and of faith unfeigned: From which some having swerved have turned aside unto vain jangling; Desiring to be teachers of the law; understanding neither what they say, nor whereof they affirm.
--1 Timothy 1:5-7
Would you hire a roofer who’s known to do a half-assed job? Who’s going to suck thousands of dollars out of your wallet—the money you’d spent so much time and energy to attain—only to leave you with rainwaters pouring into your house?

Then why would you spend a lifetime dumping out your wallet, time, and life energy on returning to the same corrupt religion—a religion that lures you in with promises of salvation by means of fear and the instillation of guilt and shame, forcing you to look outward to them to be saved rather than within?

Indeed, they’ve got you nailed for that very reason. They tell you that only they have the truth. You can’t access it yourself. You’re a worthless sinner. Rightfully so you should live in guilt and shame.

These are the very tools they wield against you because they know such things prevent people from looking within—who would dare acknowledge such inner filth? And so you look without—Save me! Save me! I’ll give you all my power, my money, anything you want! Just so I don’t have to face this blackness inside me!

They tell you you’re guilty, you’re a sinner, you were born deserving to be punished. And you don’t even question. You don’t even look within to see how true it really is—or isn’t. The very ones who have more money and material riches than God while half the world is dying of famine and disease; who often have clergy members up to their necks in pedophilia, alcoholism, gluttony and obesity, mismanaged anger, and sexual repression.

Folks, who’s guilty here? Generally speaking, you’ve got those in the lower ranks who feel overwhelmed with shame and so must necessarily live out its negative consequences and pass it on to others through shameful action, and you’ve got the higher-ups who live in shamelessness and are all too willing to deceitfully drive the nails further into the innocent and unsuspecting.

People fuck with the lives of others for one of two reasons: Either, one, they began with good intentions and now don’t know the difference because they’ve been led astray, deeply hurt within, and reactively behave per their negative programming, or, two, they hadn’t cared from the beginning and will stop at nothing to take advantage of you. In the first case, it’s blind leading the blind; in the second, it’s straight up hatred.

This is the shelter you’ve been seeking. I advise you to take in the full scope of its purported integrity.

Consider that your whole life—your beliefs, perception, family, ethics, etc.—even what may come in the afterlife—it all revolves to a greater or lesser degree around your religion’s dogma of “How It Is.”

Yes, some clergy members could be considered “good” (whatever “good” might mean). But clergy are also human beings like everyone else, and are just as susceptible to wrong thinking and doing as everyone else—perhaps even more so because their training and unconscious personal notions of becoming someone’s “savior” create in them delusions from the get-go.

So, too, might some practices be seen as “good.” But what, really, is “good” considering the negative orientation of many of those creating and perpetuating the practices? What, really, is “good” other than the perspective of the beholder as based on what these external sources have threateningly impressed in you as “truth”?

But even assuming there are some truly good clergy or practices here or there, so too are there a few dry spaces under a poorly laid roof. The house will still be destroyed and its inhabitants left empty.

“Take care then how you hear, for to the one who has, more will be given, and from the one who has not, even what he thinks that he has will be taken away.”
--Luke 8:18
You see, the problem is systemic—the top is highly defective and so all the water must necessarily trickle, if not pour, down into the lowest levels.

Meaning: The whole thing must be torn down and redone or simply abandoned altogether.

Unless you prefer shame, guilt, and powerlessness. Then nothing has to change at all.

Sunday, October 30, 2016

You Are Your Parents

by John Boodhansingh of Zero Mindfulness

I have something to share with you today. Something of which it is possible you’ve never thought of before… but more likely, I suspect, that you have given it, oh, maybe, a half-second’s thought before turning away in dread and repulsion. This “something” can be summed up in 4 words:

You “are” your parents.

When you’re done heaving, feel free to come back. I’ll be here. I’m a patient man.

You “Are” Your Parents

The focus, here, is on the experience of you being physically born of your mother and father and the holistic (physical, mental, etc.) consequence of being raised by them. The focus is about all the little nuances of life that you’d been taught, directly or indirectly; how they affect your behavior, interests, life choices, and how you interact with others; and how they cause you to live not your own life but a combined life of your mother and father.

Early Programming. Lifelong Behavior.

Within the first several years of your life (including your time in Mama’s womb) you were programmed with the foundational beliefs, fears, vibrations, etc. that would, unbeknownst to you, direct the rest of your life.

For example, you may find yourself at 39 years old to have great anxiety in regard to money and work. Every time your workload wanes, so does your income. Rather than seeing this as a natural and temporary lull, you have fits of anxiety and panic.

Should you inquire of yourself, you might recall a set of difficult childhood experiences wherein your father behaved the same way about his own work and income. He’s a contract carpenter, constantly riding the rollercoaster of lots of work/little work. Inadvertently through him and in your own naivete, you learned that, “anxiety is how I am supposed to behave when work decreases and money appears to be tight.”

Alternately, maybe you don’t recall such an experience. Nevertheless, knowing that you’d spent months in your mother’s womb feeling what she’d felt, eating how she’d eaten, being sick with what she’d been sick with, and so on, you decide to ask her if she recalls any particularly uneasy experiences she’d had while you were a fetus. “Ah,” she might say. “Two months before you were born…” And she’d go on telling you of the strong anxiety she’d felt when your father was having difficulty with his contract carpentry work.

Do you see what happens then? Though inadvertent, you’d been programmed to behave in a certain way—the very same way your parents had been programmed. And just as they continued on living as if, “This is the way it is,” so too will you live that near-same dissatisfying life experience as long as you leave the issues in hiding.

Which brings us to a second example. I’d stated a moment ago that your father is a carpenter. [You mean he still hasn’t told you? ;-) ] You may well find that you, also, are a contract carpenter. When it comes to something like this, people often rationalize with, “Carpentry runs in the family.” What’s important to get here is, why? Why does carpentry (or medicine or pet grooming or whatever) “run in the family”?

This kind of question is loaded. Because what you will very likely find with such self-inquiry are answers that can dramatically alter both who you believe yourself to be and, if acted on, the course of your life. You may find, for example:
  • I’m doing this for love and approval of my father.
  • I’m doing this for fear of being criticized by my father if I were to instead choose to be as he says: “a lazy office worker.”
  • I’m doing this to prove, to reaffirm, my beliefs that work is hard and money equates with lack and anxiety.
  • I fear admitting that my father isn’t perfect and doesn’t know everything.
If you’ve never done this type of self-work, I’m sure you can see why such inquiry can lead to major life alterations. Which, yes, can be uncomfortable to work through and take any needed action as a result of. But also of which will lead you ever deeper in to living more joyfully and freely in the truth of who you really are for a purpose only you can uniquely offer.

Alternate Paths

It could be that your father is a contract carpenter but you chose to be a full-time accountant. You may therefore imagine that this work example doesn’t apply to you. If you find yourself in this boat, I’d ask you to check the hull for leakage; in our human need to both skirt the uncomfortable and miss the not-quite-so-evident (and much of the evident!), it’s easy for us to find ourselves mostly-sunken before we realize there must be holes somewhere.

In this case, no, there’s not the direct parent-child connection of contract carpentry. But there could be issues such as:
  • I have an anxiety about money. Rather than face it head on, I’ll get full-time employment where I’ll hopefully never have to think about it.
  • I’ll show my father that I’m good enough by having a steady flow of work and income. Then he’ll approve of me.
  • I hate carpentry. Yeah, look at me, Dad. I sit in an office all day being the “lazy” you reject people for being. Suck oooon that!
No get-out-of-jail-free cards, here, folks. Somehow, some way, your parents are still at the center of “you.”

When Parents Are M.I.A.

For some people, one or both parents weren’t around during their pivotal years of development. Necessarily, many foundational beliefs, fears, and so on that any such child picks up would then be as provided by the child’s primary male and female caregivers. Yet, whatever traumas and other discomforts had been experienced while in the womb, during birthing, or just after would remain with that child. Such issues would linger subconsciously and drive the child to perceive life and behave in ways indicative of abandonment, disconnect, and so forth.

To otherwise make clear: For parents to be what I’ve referred to as M.I.A. (Missing in Action), they need not physically abandon their child. Indeed, parents could be with a child the vast majority of the time. No matter, either or both parents could be emotionally dispondent.

Let’s revisit the contract carpenter example. Your mother didn’t work and depended upon your father’s fluctuating work and income for her sense of security and sanity. When the economy took a dump and your father had a work accident with a loss in income, great anxiety and fears of all kind arose. Not knowing how to cope adequately, your parents both went emotionally numb in order to self-protect.

Trouble is for you as a highly impressionable child in the womb or just a few months or years old, you became programmed with beliefs and fears regarding the apparently hazardous nature of life, work, money, and emotion. Without ever realizing what you were doing or its disturbing implications, you repressed your emotions just as your parents had.

Dread Is the Mask of Latent Satisfaction. Start Small.

Seeing issues to the same depth as suggested in the examples above can potentially take a lot of time and effort and require a fair amount of self-clarity. Self-inquiry goes on for, well, that’s uncertain—it depends on one’s life path as determined by their soul’s interests in being here.

But no matter how long you end up self-inquiring for, it seems to me that perhaps the greatest obstacle to even beginning is this: An unwillingness to see what’s already right before you.

Willingness is where it begins. You see, first and foremost, that your dread and resultant avoidance of acknowledging that you “are” your mom and dad (which itself is learned from your parents) is serving no one; is, in fact, making you quite miserable. Recognize that this is about you understanding your unwitting use of self-rejection in order to maintain your parents’ identity. Is this really what you want for yourself?

Once you acknowledge this, you can begin working with what is right in front of you. Choose any of the myriad of small (and oft stupidly childish) sore spots you are aware of, self-inquire, and see through healing that your fear isn’t usually warranted; that your life can be easily made a lot more satisfying. Here are 3 examples:
  1. Every Monday when you’d lived at home your unemployed mother had what she called “Laundry Day,” when she did as many loads of laundry as possible. Now at 35 years old and with family, work, and evening activities, you stressfully yet unthinkingly effort to perpetuate this ritual. If only you’d stop and question the cause of the stress, you’d see that you’ve “become” your mother and that her ways are invalid to you. Then you could be free of it.

  2. Maybe before breakfast you do pushups while waiting for your oatmeal water to heat up. This sounds like a beneficial thing and you may have deliberately chosen to do it. But maybe not. Maybe you’re doing it because, as a teen, your father wanted you to do them with him—while you also were waiting for your own dad-approved oatmeal water to heat up. Nowadays you may not think about this or rationalize with, “Dad did it so it must be right and healthy.” For the sake of this self-work, “right” and “healthy” are irrelevant. It’s more important for you to see how your behavior is scripted. What do you want? Make the 100% conscious choice to either continue on or do something different—as defined by you.

  3. Your spouse constantly nags you to put your dirty socks in the hamper rather than leaving them next to the bed. Is it really that difficult to cease being a Negative Nancy or Arrogant Abe about it? Just do it and see how the stress and bitterness suddenly fall away and love takes their place. If somehow you can’t even manage to do that, then figure out what you’re trying to get. What causes you to get off to your spouse’s misery and the negative attention it provides for you? Very likely there’s some parent-learned program running in your subconscious causing you to believe and act on, say, the idea that your spouse will not naturally give you attention so you must tweak him/her to get it. Maybe this seems true to your mom and dad, but really there was never any truth in it until you’d made it so.
In some cases, like those where you’d put your occupation or relationship into question, sure, there’s a lot of potential fear to arise. But know that self-inquiry isn’t implicit of you needing to make monumental realizations or difficult changes. Just like the third example above, the outcome would far more likely be a deepening of love, not separation.

Each of us has so many hundreds, if not thousands, of tiny issues to be worked out that there’s no reason to throw the proverbial baby out with the bath water. Start small and see where things go. See how satisfying it is to release unconscious, parent-learned stressors, habits, etc. See that the more you let go and become more of yourself, the more momentum and integrity you will have to tackle the bigger issues.

Running Doesn't Help

A common reaction an individual has to becoming aware that they might “be” their parents is to run from the idea as fast as possible. Problem is, what we resist persists.

As children of our parents we are already them, so to speak. We already, from a very early age, have had all their fundamental fears and junk beliefs implanted within us. “I’m not like my mom and dad,” someone states with “certainty.” And the next thing you know—but they don’t even realize themselves—they’re behaving or speaking in a way very specific to their parent’s own ways.

It’s like the people who have, say, repressive, restrictive parents and go wild earlier in life as if to say, “I’m am not my mother or father”… Only, maybe by age 30 or 53, to have gone through a divorce or two, a job or four, who knows what else, and finally given up and settled down into a lifestyle that’s just like their parents—because the programming always wins out when unaddressed.

Runners may try to verbally justify why they are not like their parents—which, incidentally, even if their few specific points are true, they miss the other 30,000 issues that still apply. This goes hand-in-hand with those who argue dissimilarity like, “My mom and dad are sexually inert; I have sex all the time.” Okay, yeah, you appear to be at opposite ends of the spectrum. Now I want you to ask yourself, why? Because while you may be thinking, “Sex is normal and healthy,” or, “I’m a free person,” you may find more deeply that you’d chosen to have sex all the time as an act of defiance—in which case you’re not half as free as you perceive because you’re repeatedly bringing your parents right into the bedroom with you!

Always keep in mind that all of life is your reflection. You can spend an eternity altering the contents you set before the mirror, but the mirror itself will never change.

Seeing the Truth. Living In Integrity.

Simply put, we “are” our parents and will continue to “be” our parents until we see our inner junk, release it, and thus learn the life lessons being set before us. All that’s “out there” is merely a reflection of what’s “in here” so we might as well use it to our advantage, as a toolkit of self-discovery. Through this self-discovery we will each see the falsities for what they are and see the need for change.

And hopefully we’ll make that change.

To allay any immediate fear to arise at the suggestion of this change, especially about the greater valued aspects of life, I offer you the following thought:

You are where you are and don’t yet know what changes are to come or not come as a consequence of self-inquiry. And since many of you will be out of your range should you try jumping right to the big stuff, start small.

As you progress you will gradually realize your own truths and will, perhaps for the first time in your life and then increasingly so, walk in the integrity of who you truly are, of who you truly came here to be.

Neither as your mother nor your father, but as you.

Tuesday, September 13, 2016

The Tragedy of Baptism

by John Boodhansingh of Zero Mindfulness

I found this bi-fold card in one of my drawers some months ago.

Apparently, I didn’t become a member of God’s family—which is to say, by Roman Catholic reckoning, that I was otherwise deemed as unworthy of God’s love and acceptance and thus hell-bound—until the date given.

Personal belief creates personal perceptual experience.

The fear-belief of separation and eternal damnation is itself separation and eternal damnation—a most awful experience that begins well before death (i.e.: at birth).


Please see Childhood Trauma: "Catholic Guilt", posted July 24, 2017.