Thursday, June 2, 2016

The 5 Beliefs Process

by John Boodhansingh of Zero Mindfulness



Today you have the opportunity to learn what I call, “The 5 Beliefs Process.”

This process is about uncovering and resolving false beliefs—some which you’ll probably be shocked to find you hold as true—and thus clearing out the internal mess that fuels resentment, blame, fear, and so on.

The 5 Beliefs Process – Part 1

You can begin this 2-part process by making a list. List 5 beliefs about ___________, where “___________” equals money, sex, life, work, success, family, rich people, poor people, republicans, democrats, homosexuals, pole dancers, gambling, Judaism, God, hair with split ends, basketball games, this author’s writing, or any other category of people, places, things, or situations.

To point out, you may well come up with more than 5 beliefs. Write them all down. You’re going to start with 5 because 5 is motivationally easy. Any more might be overwhelming. So start with 5 bite-sized pieces and go from there.

To help you become aware of your beliefs in greater depth, look beyond what comes up in your immediate awareness of your beliefs.

If you decide to work on the category of “Relationships,” for example, consider how you think, speak, and behave in personal relationships as well as how your parents interact between themselves and with others. Of parents, you’ve learned from them far more than you’ve yet realized. If the category is “Work,” ascertain if your boss is like either or both of your parents and if your work experience reminds you of your childhood. Look into each category in a similar fashion. Recognizing the role of things like religion, social groups, family history, and so on can also be a big help.

The 5 Beliefs Process – Part 2

For the second part, you’re going to run through multiple steps. For each belief in your list, answer and/or write out the following:
  1. "Is this true?"
    Answer "yes" or "no"? "Yes" is not appropriate unless the answer is known to you absolutely.

  2. "Why not?"
    Pick apart your false beliefs to the best of your awareness and ability.

  3. Willingly release pertinent beliefs, fears, resentment, blame, etc.

  4. Willingly accept and embrace.

  5. Ho’oponopono
    "I’m sorry. Please forgive me. Thank you. I love you."

An Example

Suppose you have a list of beliefs for the category of "Relationships." One of your beliefs could be:

"It’s okay to lie in relationships in order to avoid disappointment."

Your process might look something like this:
True? No.

Lying is lying. It’s negative behavior. Lying always comes with regret and guilt (unless you’re a socio- or psychopath) and thus disappointment on both sides—immediately for the liar, later on (if not immediately) for the one lied to. Lying in relationships is taught, if unconsciously, as acceptable by many parents and society at large. It is neither true nor healthy.

I willingly release the belief that it’s okay to lie in relationships in order to avoid disappointment.

I willingly accept and embrace honesty in my relationships and accept the consequences (comfortable or not) for which the doors of my honesty open.

I’m sorry. Please forgive me. Thank you. I love you.
I usually verbalize the 3rd step ("I willingly release…") rather than writing it. The number of releases and what they relate to (fear, shame, false belief, et al.) can sometimes be many and diverse depending upon what comes up in the 2nd step.

But I do recommend writing out everything else. This is particularly true of step 2 in which writing—rather than mere thinking—is critical to getting the most from the process. The mind will too easily gloss over the juicy bits that you can’t afford to ignore, or slip past unwittingly. If you’re going to expend all the time and energy to do the process, why not do it right?

Writing has a way of healing because it’s the physicalization of what’s been stuffed inside. Writing is self-permission to express physically what would’ve been better off expressed and let go of years and years ago but wasn't.

A Caution and an Example

Before looking at more examples (a few of mine), I want to offer a caution.

This process is NOT designed to make anyone feel good. You will probably feel “good” (whatever that means) after processing and releasing a heap of inner garbage, but what arises during the process could be entirely different.

When you make your initial list, it’s very important that you write down whatever comes to mind—without judgment. If you do judge something, then you definitely need to write it down. That judgment is a rarely cracked-open doorway to your subconscious. Be sure to open the door—no matter how unexpected or seeming absurd.

Take note that you may not always recognize the thoughts as beliefs and so choose to ignore them. Oh, it's just a stray thought. No. Once again, it's a door. Write it down. What comes up comes up specifically because it's a belief. You've posed the question to your subconscious, and your subconscious is replying.

In example, when I was working on the category of “Women,” the following belief came up:

“Women are whores.”

Initially, this sounded ridiculous to me. Calling women whores is not something I’d ever thought I’d made a stereotype of. Even as a derogatory word, I’ve used it rarely and only on women who slept around a too much. Nevertheless, I wrote it down. To describe the sight of the inner junk to trigger such a belief as “unexpected” is an understatement.

This is my processing:

“Women are whores.”
True? No. It’s just they’ve been made to appear this way in this female-repressive society. Also, I’ve made my female side a whore by selling it to anyone who I’d thought I could get love and approval from by being tough, manly, etc. Just a reflection of myself. I willingly accept and embrace my female side and the necessity of its integration for wholeness. I’m sorry. Please forgive me. Thank you. I love you.
As you can see, I didn’t include step 3 ("I willingly release…"). Had I, it would would’ve looked something like this:

I willingly release the belief that women are whores. I willingly release the need to repress my female qualities such as love and empathy in attempt to attain love and approval of others. I willingly release the belief that I’m not manly enough as is.

Surprise, surprise…

Two More Examples

The next two examples are also from my processing in the “Women” category.

“Women are seductive.”
True? Not inherently, though some may choose to behave seductively. Any truth there may be to a stereotype seems likely to have been developed by women in attempt to get love, attention, respect, etc. from males through eons of being treated less than dogs. Alternately, through history men have shown that they don’t often do a very good job of managing their sexual appetite; that they’d rather blame, label, negate, and control women than resolve their own frustrations.

As for me… I’ve repressed my female qualities in order to fit in, to be “normal.” Yet knowing subconsciously the sense of wholeness it could provide for me, I feel drawn to reintegrate with it. On the outside this appears as if women are self-glorified sex machines trying to entice me and other men. Such is the guidance of false belief and a distorted culture. But inside it’s me yearning for wholeness of self and being afraid of the experience of reintegration. It’s simply the female energy that is seductive to me specifically because I feel so distant from it within yet need it so badly.

I willingly accept and embrace the female aspect that is me. I’m sorry. Please forgive me. Thank you. I love you.
“Women are useless.”
True? No. They have about 4,900,000,364 functions. This belief stems from a heritage of such belief and from the fact that I’ve utterly shut down to my female nature. I believe it does not serve me, so I shut it out. I now see that it must have a use because my life is useless without its integration. I may have thought I could end my pain and suffering by stuffing it away, but I still hurt extremely badly, none of my hope in stuffing it away ever succeeding. I seem not to have a use until my female side is reawakened. I’ve sold my wholeness in attempt to become useful to society, family, etc. Yet I’ve become useless to myself, splintered. Now I cannot appease anyone out there or in here. I use supposed female uselessness to stuff away my pain and self-protect; but it doesn’t work. I’ve never fit in, I’ve never been manly enough, good enough, tough enough. I willingly accept and embrace my female side, the usefulness of it, the necessity of it for wholeness. I willingly accept and embrace women as useful, as male equals. I’m sorry. Please forgive me. Thank you. I love you.
“Women are useless.” Apparently I believed that one. Seems so outrageous to me, as if I’m a female slave owner from the 1600’s (in which case they still would have been useful…).

Again, a central key in this is that the above beliefs and others came up and I wrote them down and worked through them—regardless of how preposterous they’d initially sounded. And what a delight it has been then to see and heal so many false concepts “out there” and their reflected toxic waste “in here.”

Beliefless

I want to call your attention to the fact that at no point in this work should you create new beliefs. For instance, if you find yourself with the work-related false belief of, "Work isn’t supposed to be enjoyable." Run through the process as detailed above and be done. Do not then create a new belief saying, “I willingly now believe that work is supposed to be fun.”

Simply clear out the junk and then let your experience flow exactly as it flows in any given moment. Whether you believe work is supposed to be unenjoyable or fun, you’re still believing in something which means that you’re still perceiving, thinking, behaving, and emoting about life as “supposing” to be a certain way, a certain way which it won’t always be. Your expectations will repeatedly be shattered, and you’ll be disappointed over and over again.

Plus, reality is. Rarely do we need to have beliefs about anything. Reality will be there whether we believe it or not. Like the birds, bees, trees, wolves, and ocean, they all work in a flawless unity because they’re only ever focused on reality.

They accept what is, they flow with what is, sometimes they eat, and sometimes they’re eaten. It’s just the way it goes.

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