Tuesday, December 26, 2017

Religion Versus Spirituality: Ego Versus God

by John Boodhansingh of Zero Mindfulness

“Religion is for people who are afraid of going to hell.
Spirituality is for people who have already been there.”

--Vine Deloria Jr.

My experience of religion and spirituality has been varied. I’ve gone from ~25 years of restless and "choiceless" Roman Catholic involvement, to leaving religion and thinking maybe God just made stuff and then walked away, to having an unexpected spiritual awakening after which insights such as the truths of existence and the optimal paths I need to take in life began spontaneously popping into my awareness.

With this experience plus research, hearing accounts from others, and a notice both intuitive and plain-to-see, I’ve been able to compile a list of differences frequently found between religion and spirituality.

Be aware that this list is primarily regarding Western religion and spirituality, but Eastern religions are not wholly excluded.

Also be aware of this simple truth:

Being a religious adherent and being spiritual are not the same. Religion doesn’t inherently bring spirituality, and spirituality doesn’t require religion.

This is for the reason that religion is by its nature an external device and one that’s very often outward-looking, whereas spirituality is an intrinsic aspect of all existence and requires conscious in-looking for development. The two can be intertwined if done correctly, but such is typically not the case.

That said, without getting too comprehensive or intense, here’s my list of differences between religion and spirituality when religion, a collective, outward structure, is not designed to nourish the inner, spiritual nature of groups and individuals alike.

Religion versus Spirituality

Note that for each category religion is denoted with an “R” and spirituality is denoted with an “S”.

  • R: Based on concepts of hierarchy, separation, and better-than/lesser-than.
  • S: Based in oneness, equality.

  • R: Adherents are powerless victims in need of a savior of whom each religion says they have the only one.
  • S: “The kingdom of God is within you.” Each discovers the empowerment within to overcome life hardship and to become their greatest version.

  • R: Religion says that God gently says: “Do this or be a sinner,” and forcefully if angered says, “You’re going to hell.”
  • S: God “him”-self says, “Do whatever you want. You’ll have to make up for it if you hurt yourself or someone else, but you’re here to learn. I love you always and you’ll always have my forgiveness. I’ll be here when you’re ready.”

  • R: God is an old man in the sky.
  • S: God is All: form and formless, nothing and everything, seen and unseen, known and unknown.

  • R: Outward-looking: Intellectualized; focused on history, written word, and preaching; avoidance (if not outright rejection) of heart/feelings and intuition.
  • S: Inward-looking: Acknowledgement that outer is a reflection of the inner; honoring of intuition (gut, heart, third eye), feeling, and unique soul expression.

  • R: Avoidance/denial of emotions, creativity, individuality, etc.
  • S: Feel, heal, flow, and be what you are innately.

  • R: Patriarchal.
  • S: Universal. Equal. Divine Mother and Divine Father union.

  • R: Guilt-inducing. Labeling humanity as inherently flawed. Adherents admonished to “repent and be saved.”
  • S: “You currently have some mental-emotional troubles—everyone does—but don’t be too hard on yourself. Seek healing and see that you are perfect as is, that God has never seen you as otherwise.”

  • R: Unworthiness; pay-to-play (e.g.: indulgences, tithing).
  • S: Unconditional acceptance as is. “The poor man’s penny is worth more than the rich man’s millions.”

  • R: “Do what we tell you to do.”
  • S: “What feels right to you in this moment?”

  • R: Focus is consistently bent toward uncleansable sins, fear of punishment, etc. and so positives are overwhelmed and thus unseen.
  • S: Fears, false beliefs, etc. are only focused on in order to heal them, with no guilt or blame attached. Physical, mental, and emotional disposition increasingly shifts toward the positive and spiritual life thrives.

  • R: Passed through family and culture, by door-to-door “salesmen,” by force, and so on.
  • S: You “get” it—effortlessly. You just know at the core of your being (i.e.: non-intellectually).

  • R: Cause of suffering, fear, guilt, shame, poverty, unhappiness.
  • S: Effecting as freedom, peace, joy, love, creativity, spontaneity.

  • R: Endless searching, reaching, wanting.
  • S: Peace. Here. Now.


Having put forth this list, be aware that my words are not, as it may be interpreted, an attempt to condemn religion. I don’t align with religion, but I can accept that it’s a part of life that others do align with.

What people must face, however, is the obscene degree of ages-long misguidance, corruption, and countless other distortions going on within most of organized religion. This desperately needs to be acknowledged for what it is and cleaned up.

All the while, to those whom it concerns, see that just because there are aspects of your religion that are garbage doesn’t mean that everything is garbage and to get rid of anything means that you must get rid of everything. As the saying goes, don’t throw the baby out with the bath water.

Granted, some foundational tenets will have to change. But aside from any fat-mouthed ego-mind yelling that change is bad and it’s going to be unbearable to be happy rather than guilty and in fear all the time, who the hell cares if you change what has been no more than a suffering-inducing lie?

In revitalization, I would suggest taking a hint from those involved in Christian mysticism, Kabbalah (Judaism), and Sufism (Islam). Honestly, I can’t say much about them because I don’t know much about them. But what I see as important is that, in spite of the overwhelming distortions of the mainstream, each of these are small sects within the major Western religions that continue to be profoundly spiritual.

The point being: Mystics begin with the premise of a given religion and they integrate the outer with the inner, they align religious practice and spiritual attainment. And they’ve been amazingly successful in doing so.

So, if you want religion, have at it. But realize that currently your religion is probably more like a guidepost as to what not to do rather than one toward what you would do well to do. Because if you’re truly moving inward, onward, and upward as is the flow of the spiritual path, you likely wouldn’t even be here reading this right now. You’d already “get” it, and life would be guiding you elsewhere—perhaps to your religion where’d you’d be busy working on making the positive changes you’ve been waiting for someone else to enact.

After all, true change has to start somewhere, and it’s almost always at “the bottom.” Why not with you?

Heaven Is Only As Close As You Make It

By the way… here’s one other religion versus spirituality point:

Religion has long carried ideas such as heaven being an actual place to go (assuming you don’t screw it up by having a sexual thought about your neighbor and going to hell for eternity), as holiness being possible by the average person but more realistically reserved for the clergy and the rare saint, and so on.

And in these ideas there exists the sense of a hopefully hopeless, airy-fairy type of spirituality that is reached for but can never be attained.

Folks… no.

Being spiritual is being free of (or at least working toward being free of) internal distortions and thus living in integrity with one’s true self and doing whatever naturally flows freely. It has nothing to do with all the airy-fairy ideas such as those just mentioned. It has nothing to do with, “This is what I have to do to be spiritual because this is what they say I have to do, because this is what I believe I have to do, because this is what I feel gung-ho and happy about doing because it gets me my church-going mother’s love and approval.”

If it’s your soul path to be an ascetic or the next pope, that’s fine, and I wish you the best. But truth is, you can still be amazingly spiritual as Average Joe FamilyMan, by having a career playing rock ‘n’ roll music, or in make a billion dollars per year breeding horses (must be some horses!). You can basically do whatever you want so long as you’re doing no harm and it feels right to you.

True spirituality, or “wholiness” as I’d once termed it, is realizing wholeness within yourself and being true to your soul purpose; it’s being true to your innate, human and intuitive drives as your egoic mind is overcome and your physical, mental, emotional, and energetic bodies are balanced.

Heaven is then where you are, as you are.

Wednesday, December 6, 2017

Selective Ignorance: A Rant

by John Boodhansingh of Zero Mindfulness

“We are all born ignorant, but one must work hard to remain stupid.”

--Ben Franklin
Do you know what really chaffs my ass?

Selective ignorance

It starts with simple rejection: I could say something wise or intelligent or merely different from the norm, something that may or may not have been scientifically proven or spoken by a great sage, and because it has not been accepted by mainstream science, by the herd of society, as religious dogma, or whatever, I’m automatically perceived as the dim-witted fool.

I could put forth some truth of life or some alternate idea as to how a thing works, but how dare I, some young, uncredentialed “Joe,” think he knows as much as, more, or differently than an “authority” figure carrying the title of “Priest” or “Doctor” or “Congressman,” or a peer who’d been trained by one such “authority.”

Now, while this rejection for approaching life with an open mind can be a frustration, what really chaffs my ass is how the selectively ignorant could hear the exact same thing from some “approved” “authority” a day or a year later and it’s like, “Oh, well, that makes complete sense.” Or perhaps they’d already heard what I’ve said but with a different “authoritative” interpretation, and mine is, most assuredly, incorrect.

All the while, when I say my piece, they won’t touch it. They may argue falteringly (even if this means their only argument is: “Shut up, you asshole!”), or they may find a counter-argument in resources from their "accepted" side of the argument to try to prove me wrong. But they refuse to cross the line to research things from my side.

And rather than admitting imperfection, they’ll pick at anything to “prove” I’m “wrong.” It’s almost not an exaggeration to say that sometimes I could be correct, and the arguer knows it (or at least suspects it), but they’ll look and look and, yep, sure enough, they’ll find me in error—I’d actually written my idea to them, and I’d forgotten to dot an “i”. There goes my arguement.

Or they might just straight-up attack me. Shooting the messenger always seems to be a great choice when the message is inconvenient in its potential.

“It is the mark of an educated mind to be able to entertain a thought without accepting it.”

I like what Aristotle was getting at, but maybe he’d have been better saying something like, “the mark of a judicious mind,” or “the mark of a discerning mind.” Because it seems all too often that the more educated, the more intelligent, someone becomes, the greater is the their lack in smarts and wisdom.

I remember in one instance (of too many), I’d made a comment to some educated folks about how Big Pharma makes drugs to keep people sick. I don’t remember my exact wording; I just remember that it was a reasonably shallow truth, as in one that should be outrageously obvious to anyone with at least the brain power of an amoeba. (All you have to do is listen to a Big Pharma ad on TV. Suffer from depression? Ask your doctor about Fukupmalife. Side effects may include depression, diabetes, stroke, heart palpitations, hot flashes, abnormal sweating, memory loss, constipation, violent outbursts, and death.)

Yet on hearing my words, the energy amongst the group died immediately. If the coroner would have shown up a few minutes later saying that he’d had a profound intuitive sense of death passing over, I wouldn’t have been surprised. All went silent and faces became deranged as if they’d just been scarred stupid by a moron and desperately needed to change the topic or go do something else in order to regain their hold on “sanity.”

“They were so strong in their beliefs that there came a time when it hardly mattered what exactly those beliefs were; they all fused into a single stubbornness.”
--Louise Erdrich

To those who're selectively ignorant (Don't be shy, now. I already know who you are, so you don't need to be selectively ignorant about being selectively ignorant.):

Have some respect. Admit that you're human and make mistakes, that you don't know everything about everything.

You’re not serving anyone. I fully recognize that you hurt, that you’re scared, and that’s why you’re behaving as you are. But you’re hurting others and you’re hurting yourself.

For crying out loud: You attack others to protect yourself from having to see that you’re wrong. You seek to know and be right, yet you fight to remain ignorant!

Realize that the “authority” or peers who you’re siding with for approval very well may not even care about you. And you know this; hence, why you feel the need to side with them: because you know they’ll reject you if you don’t… It might surprise you to know that they’re in it for the same reasons as you. (And sometimes power and money, neither of which you're likely getting any of.)

All the while, the “authority” or peers you’re kissing up to by holding onto what is, at least potentially, false, they can’t even give you what you want.

Externally, you want the truth. As stated, however, you're foolishly pushing away the very sources who have been giving it to you. Otherwise, what you want is inside of you. And as long as you’re unwaveringly seeking "out there" somewhere, and attacking those who already have the truth, you’ll spend your whole life in a state of dissatisfaction… with a lot of enemies who would much prefer to be friends.

“Remember that nobody will ever get ahead of you as long as he is kicking you in the seat of the pants.”
--Walter Winchell

This is funny. I’d spent my whole life being psycho-emotionally kicked in the seat of the pants by others. And so in my defense, I was always looking behind me.

But when I finally turned around, guess who I saw?

No one! Because I'd been ahead all along!

“First they ignore you, then they laugh at you, then they fight you, and then you win.”
--[apparently not] Mahatma Gandhi

Saturday, December 2, 2017

Helpless “Help,” and the Intravenous Death That Is Chemotherapy

by John Boodhansingh of Zero Mindfulness

There’s a lot of helping that goes on in our world. All too often, however, what we call “help” is not actually helpful at all.

After a few words to give us a starting point, we’ll look at four “helping”-without-helping areas we may encounter in everyday life. We’ll end with a mission critical segment that has unfortunately become part of everyday life and is possibly, aside from war, humanity’s greatest disservice to itself—the big business of cancer and chemotherapy.

Looks Are Deceiving When We’re Deceivers

On the whole, we carry subconscious beliefs of being helpless. These drive us, unconsciously, to “help” others under the rationale, also unconscious, that by helping those we perceive helpless we will fill in the personal power-void within ourselves.

As with every other aspect of life that we feel lacking in internally, we seek fulfillment of them externally. But, truth is, we cannot ever fill our internal void in such a way because it’s impossible to satisfy internal needs with external gettings and doings.

These internal needs are only there because we carry (typically) childhood, parent-related traumas that causes us to believe ourselves less than whole. Naturally, having a certain job or owning an expensive possession cannot heal a trauma. Healing, restoring our inner, personal power and sense of worth, requires that we become aware of our programming and resolve it physically, mentally, emotionally, and/or energetically.

Such healing takes time, effort, and usually the aid of doctors, psychiatrists, spiritual teachers, reiki practitioners, etc. I obviously cannot offer these tools in this blog post, but I can provide suggestions as to where people get trapped in “helping” others while believing that in doing so they are helping themselves.

Please use extra awareness in this arena, because what we don’t know about ourselves internally leads us to blind behavior and self-deceiving perception externally. As I’ll provide factual evidence for below, it’s not uncommon for people to be so driven by their own need for help that they cannot see how terribly they are hurting others in the name of “help,” “compassion,” etc. Would they only step back and see what is right under their noses, they would be horrified at the weight of their actions.

Positive Work, Negative Attitude

Imagine you’re working at a soup kitchen. But rather than working with a peaceful mind and talking kindly with the impoverished, you’re rambling on in your mind about how terrible the people smell, that you hate your dad for forcing you to volunteer, that the people shouldn’t have been so lazy and dropped out of school, and on and on.

In instances like this, yes, the poor aren’t going hungry, and that’s great. But look at it this way:

As Dr. Masaru Emoto shows in his work (see, in one example, The True Power of Water), thought very directly affects the physical nature of things. Thought is mind energy that derives its power from emotional energy and manifests as physical perception and experience (“tangible energy”). Providing food is good, but even better is when food is a given and interaction is made from a space of human compassion, warmth, friendliness.

If you’re projecting negative vibes, beyond helping positively in the barest sense, you’re only bringing misery to the world. Making a holistically positive impact begins with a positive attitude.

Unsolicited Advice

No one likes to be told who, what, where, when, why, or how to do something without signing up for it.

And typically, perhaps because humans like to take the hardest path to accomplish tasks, when people advise us without our permission, even if we know they are right, we tend to stubbornly avoid doing what they’ve suggested. Unrequested advice is interference and should be avoided.

Also, unsolicited advice is not necessarily even good advice. Unconsciously, the people giving such “help” often don’t want to change their own beliefs and behaviors that they sense, if unconsciously, are flawed. They thus peddle their viewpoint to those doing “wrong” as “advice” hoping the others will adopt it as their own and thus be “proven” “right.”


“Babying” can be described as doing things for others, reminding others of things, and so on as if the people being babied are too helpless, ignorant, and so forth to do it themselves.

This issue revolves around the savior-victim mentality: One person is self-perceived as a caretaker, one is self-perceived as powerless, and both of these opposing energies reflect, attract, and “validate” each other.

We’re all interdependent, and we can all use help from time to time, but we’re also here as individuals to figure out life for ourselves. When we baby others we prevent them from learning in their own way and in their own time, and prevent them from developing into their highest (or maybe only their most moderate) self-potentials. When we allow ourselves to be babied we basically just degrade in self-perceived worth, power, etc. and become ever more dependent on others.

“Saviors” and “victims” beware that in certain instances, such as in intimate relationships, there is a savior-victim symbiosis going on. If you pull the plug, the one dependent on you is going to feel it as discomfort and may well take it out on you. Realize that their frustrations don’t necessarily mean that you’re doing something wrong or are being in any way unkind. People generally don’t like change, especially not when it exposes negative programming.

Talkin’ without the Walkin’

Imagine this: Imagine that your favorite holy person said, “Love one another,” and then beat people up. Or maybe he said, “Don’t make my Father’s house a place of business,” and then ordered slot machines to be installed in the pews at church. Or maybe she said, “Love your body and live well,” and then opened a fast food franchise supplied with Big Ag food and financed by Monsanto.

I’m not asking or expecting the average person to be the next great “holy one,” but there’s a tremendous deal to be said of someone who walks their talk. These people can do it because the life, and thus internal, areas in which they do it are integrated. Meaning, they do not carry the hypocrisy, fear, unworthiness, resentment, or any of a million other distortions that the average person may that would prevent them from stepping fully into their own power.

In my own experience, be it whatever it may be compared to the life of any other, my process of coming into integrity with who I truly am has been like off-roading in a Formula 1 racecar with square wheels. My hat (if I we’re wearing one) is off to anyone who dares to look fully within, take out the trash, and walk as their greatest self—in spite of the fact that they’ll still be putting their neck out in a world of slashing knives.

The “Hell-thcare” System

This last item is going to shock many people. Its negative effects are far above and beyond those of the issues I’ve so far expressed. It is an issue that desperately needs to be seen for what it is so that it can come to a swift end.

It seems to me that occupations within the healthcare system hold the ultimate resonance for people carrying helplessness/powerlessness distortions. While I feel this way intuitively for a number of reasons, the one that will be discussed here is that our modern healthcare system can and more often than not does put people through massive amounts of pain and suffering—if not death—in the name of “health” and “help”—all unnecessarily.

Yes, it is true that to accomplish such a feat there must be some soulless, profit-driven scumbags at the top of the hierarchy. But these heartless beings simply can’t accomplish such an evil deed without the help of countless workers who feel intensely helpless within, are blind to and blinded by that helplessness, and subconsciously believe they can ease their sense of helplessness by helping others.

If only people would take a moment to self-inquire into what they believe to be “real” and “true,” they’d see what is both tragically obvious and obviously tragic right before them:

Our Western medical establishment is one of the greatest, if not the greatest, causes of human pain, suffering, and death on this planet.

Take, for example, chemotherapy.

The victims who have to suffer this torture as treatment lose their hair, their immune systems fail, they vomit afterward, they experience fatigue and skin discoloration, they’ve likely been or will be surgically disfigured, and more. Chemotherapy fluid itself burns the skin, and it’s recommended that the burn victim go to an Emergency Room.

But does chemo work? Does it kill cancer?

It fucking kills everything! And in adults, the 5-year-survival average success rate is at an astonishingly low 2%! Plus, as Chris points out in the link just provided, 2% is a human “survival rate,” it is not a “cancer-free rate.”

If people would just step back, they’d see this horror. They’d see with internal eyes what their external eyes already see but remain blind to. It is so obvious.

You see, life works such that when we release the old and negative, something new and positive fills its place (unless we opt for more lies). If we let go of lies and torture, we’re going to be given “sight” and compassionate action.

Would people let go, would people truly be willing to see, Life would provide them, one way or another, with the truth.

They’d see that “Big Harma” and Big Medical, with their crony lobbyists and revolving-door politicians, are taking unfathomably evil advantage of people in their ignorance. They’d see how unwitting nurses are being utilized to poison diseased patients day-in and day-out. They’d see that it is literally Big Harma’s mission to slowly kill people—it’s a mega-billion dollar industry—people must remain sick and ignorant or they lose it all. They’d see how countless doctors accept and prescribe drugs due to their own ignorance, Big Harma disinformation campaigns, and even under threats of a revoked medical license and death. They’d see that iatrogenic deaths are one of the leading causes of death (at least in the US).

This and more would all be seen by emptying one’s proverbial cup of the false to allow in what is true. It’s the way life works.

I’m going to end this by leaving some links related to alternate cancer therapies and information. Be aware that within the last two years doctors who have been working toward exposing Big Harma and researching alternative therapies have been dying left and right, all under suspicious circumstances.

It’s vital that this information be known and shared. It is equally vital that we each look within and root out the cause(s) of our helplessness. Only then can we be helped—because we will be, finally, stepping into our own inherent power and helping ourselves. Only then can we truly help others.

To note: I don’t mean this cancer-bit as blame to those who’re unwittingly responsible within the medical field. We’ve all been dealt the card of supreme ignorance, and we’ve all been reluctant to discard it even though it’s the most dangerous card to carry. As things are now, though, people have to wake up, and people have to wake up fast.

Alternative Medical and Treatment Resources

Cancer Tutor

Holistic Cancer Research Home

B-17 / Laetrile: Alternative Cancer Treatment Suppressed

Cancer Causes Archives | The Truth About Cancer

Cannabis and Cancer: How “Marijuana” Helps the Body Heal

Salvestrols - Protection and Correction

Kerosene - A Universal Healer

Hydrogen Peroxide: Curse or Cure

Breast Cancer Deception: 3 Ways the Pink Ribbon Misleads You
For my metaphysical views on this topic: The Grand “Support” Ribbon Illusion

NaturalNews.com: REVEALED: Cancer industry profits 'locked in' by nagalase molecule injected into humans via vaccines... spurs tumor growth... explains aggressive vaccine push

Speaking of vaccinations… A few resources of thousands…

Vaccine Ingredients — A Comprehensive Guide

Many Parents Are Now Aware of Dangerous Vaccine Side Effects

Autism, mercury, thimerosal and vaccines: Natural News releases large collection of scientific knowledge that’s been suppressed by the FDA, CDC and pharma-controlled media


Saving Normal: An Insider's Revolt Against Out-of-Control Psychiatric Diagnosis, DSM-5, Big Pharma, and the Medicalization of Ordinary Life by Allen Francis, M.D.
Saving Normal is a huge contribution toward bringing the truth to medical outsiders. I don’t think cancer or vaccinations are ever mentioned since this book is about psychiatry, but coming from an insider, this is a valuable read as to the phenomenal corruption of and between the corporate, medical, pharma, and political establishments.

Tuesday, November 28, 2017

“Tying the Knot” – Part 2: Indifference and Conscious Evolution

by John Boodhansingh of Zero Mindfulness

In my May 2017 post "Tying the Knot" ...Oh, It's a Knot Alright., I started off by saying: “I don’t agree with most marriages.”

I’d also then said: “[T]his has nothing to do with either partner as individuals themselves. They may seem the kindest people in the world, or they could be serial-killing crack dealers.”

While I still align with what I’d written to back up my point, I now realize that the individuals do make a difference, and this is for the reason that my across-the-board disagreement of most marriages was short-sighted. I’d have said it more appropriately as disagreeing with some and being indifferent to some (which is not to say there are no marriages I’d approve of).

Here’s why…


In terms of disagreement, let’s take a relationship in which a man beats a woman. Both partners, due to distorted thinking acquired in childhood, see their abuser-victim relationship as “love.” For obvious reasons to most other people, however, this is clearly a toxic, loveless relationship, and marriage is an equally clear mistake.

Also consider forced relationships. Although there may be some love in these (unlike the previous kind which has none), there is a level of distortion that overwhelms sane intimacy. These relationships reveal themselves through moderate-to-constant complaining, criticism, blame, unhappiness, mistrust, dependency, approval-seeking, and so forth.

A lot of people are unable to perceive forced relationships for what they really are. Common reasons for this are that the people viewing are in these very relationships themselves and/or faulty beliefs are carried such as, “All is okay if they say or it looks okay,” and desires such as, “This is what I want to be true about them.” Absent these blinders, one can plainly see that if marriage occurs, short of a miracle, a divorce or at least a very dissatisfying relationship is certain.

In this category, internal digging and vulnerability with one's partner to resolve issues is virtually unheard of. Relationships under the aforementioned circumstances—and there are plenty—I simply cannot endorse for marriage.


While the relationships that fall into the “indifference” category can exhibit lighter shades of some of the troubles listed above, they don’t tread at such a depth of negativity. Nevertheless, for reasons stated aplenty on this blog, people generally don’t know who they are, what they want, or why they want it, and they don’t know why they are attracted to who they are attracted to. The answers to these questions are rarely asked, sometimes for the sake of plain ignorance, sometimes for that of stubbornness, fear, and arrogance. With relatively few exceptions, so much unconsciousness cannot and does not lend itself well to true intimacy.

In these relationships, love is definitely of a higher quality and quantity than the “disagreement” instances, and of these I get no intuitive sense that divorce and/or supreme misery is effectively guaranteed. However, because two false egos are still in play, what is guaranteed is a lot of unconscious behavior, repressed feelings, etc. What ultimately springs from such a relationship or marriage only the unfoldment of time can say.

When this type of relationship turns to marriage, my feeling is of indifference. By all means, I hope the best for any such couple, but I certainly don’t expect “a match made in heaven.” Just as people unconsciously work certain jobs or have certain interests as a soul means of becoming conscious about their true nature, so do people unconsciously choose relationships and marriage for the same.

I don’t disagree with these, per se, because they’re what people have to do to wake up and they don’t cause any major harm or perpetuate outstanding unhappiness. I am therefore understanding of and left indifferent to these peoples’ choices to get married (other than writing as I’m inspired in order to help people awaken to conscious choice).

Fractured Evolution Leads To Failure

Collectively, we have more than enough expectations regarding marriage, these even affecting those who aren’t directly involved.

What I’m pointing to, here, is the expectation that if someone feels bright-eyed and cheery about their relationship decisions then everyone else should feel the same. It’s almost unfathomable that anyone, especially a close anyone (e.g.: family or friend) would not share in the joy. But if what underlies the fulfillment of expectation doesn’t feel true to me, I will not comply.

Marriage has been accepted like a one-size-fits-all shoe, but it’s really not at all a one-size-fits-all shoe.

Yes, in the past we needed marriage as a condition of survival, for economic stability, and for religious control purposes. But in this day and age in the developed world, these once-substantial marital supports have become nearly obsolete.

It’s important to see that even though our world has evolved externally, we haven’t evolved internally to keep up with it: to let go of what no longer applies, to adapt old traditions to new awareness, or to resolve the distortions that now arise within us that are seeking to be addressed. We’ve shifted from carrying on tradition for necessity’s sake to carrying on tradition to satisfy (or in attempt to satisfy) egoic wants, expectations, fears, etc.

It’s also worth considering the fact that, as individuals, our thinking evolves from time to time (unless we’re really stubborn).

Back in the day, it’s understandable that people would hop into an early marriage and have a few kids right quick since their lifespans we’re relatively short. But now we have more time: more time to meet potential mates, more time to have families, more time for self-discovery and figuring out what we really want, and so on.

We would do well to take advantage of this. This goes especially for the item of self-discovery, because if we don’t know what we want or why we want it, if in our self-ignorance we’re unaware of our highest truths, we simply can’t make optimal choices (maybe not even positive choices). This leads to dissatisfaction and fickle thinking—thinking likely fueled by waves of imbalanced and repressed emotional energy—and thus more dissatisfaction and fickle thinking.

Guy: Dude, you married a stripper when you were 23…
Dude (now 34 years old): It seemed like a good it idea at the time…

Life evolves, and we are no small part of it. It’s therefore important that we seek to know ourselves so that we can consciously evolve with life.

Do What You Will, but Be Conscious About It.

As I write about marriage, it doesn’t bypass my awareness that what I’m saying can and will provoke volatility when making contact with others. (What’s new?)

But for whatever it’s worth, I wish to point out that my calling out of unconscious marriage beliefs, behaviors, and expectations is no different to me than my rejection of the same in areas such as work, politics, and sports. Perhaps one of the few differences is that our feelings about the “rights” and “wrongs” of marriage are so deeply and thoroughly embedded and personalized and are often interwoven with heavy religious programming.

Yet, there is no part of life that is somehow magically removed from the influence of aberrant thinking and its consequent unhealthy behavior. What I’m saying must be said. (And if I don’t do it, someone else will… and probably will, anyway.)

See that the point I’m trying to make here is not about marriage as a rite but a as blind alignment with old ways in a new time and for reasons we know not.

Quite frankly, if everyone who is married now or wants to get married were to eliminate all their current marriage- and relationship-related false beliefs and fears and still want to remain married or get married, I really don’t care.

But I’ve no doubt in my mind that if people could see everything in the light of conscious awareness, of self-truth, many would want a divorce, many would seek out a new partner, and many would forgo marriage altogether.

When we’re only taught to do one thing and everything else is either unknown, skewed, or shunned, 99.845% of people fulfill the demand provided. On the contrary, when we have conscious self-awareness, courage, and a truly free will, there’s no question that other paths will be taken.

What I’m giving to you here and in every other blog post is awareness of truth (as I see it) and alternate possibilities and potentials.

If something doesn’t resonate with you, either self-inquire as to why or forget about it (or both). If something does resonate, then take it beyond my mere words and turn it into something of personal value.

And if you’re going to be in a relationship, if you’re going to consider marriage, don’t do what’s right for your family, for your religion, for a tradition, or for your fat-headed ego—they’ve all got their own, often selfish, agendas.

Do what’s right for you. After all, you are the one who’s going to have to live with it.

By the way… I recently read Modern Romance written by comedian and actor Aziz Ansari with sociologist Eric Klinenberg. The book discusses global relationship concerns, across times and cultures, with a focus on the age of online dating and smart phones. Aziz is funny as ever, and a load of well-researched information is provided. I recommend reading it.

Sunday, November 26, 2017

"Strange It Is..."

by John Boodhansingh of Zero Mindfulness

Strange it is that we must fake who and what we are in order to fit into the "real" world. Strange it is that those who can't successfully “fake it ‘til they make it” are left behind.

Strange it is how so many who succeed automatically know why others failed.

“Shoulda gone to college.”
“Shouldn’t’a skipped class.”
“Shoulda studied more.”
“Shoulda worked harder.”
“Shouldn’t’a played so many video games.”
“Shoulda asked more questions.”
“Shouldn’t’a drank so much.”
“Shouldn’t’a been so ignorant and lazy after being born into a low-class, poorly-educated family in a crime-laden neighborhood where drug- and weapon-dealing runs rampant and the government prefers handing out free smartphones and TVs rather than providing quality assistance.”

It seems preferable for so many to hold these shallow rationalizations as if absolute truths. Rather than facing the fact that The System is inherently and thoroughly FUBAR, the blame is instead laid on the “failures” (who themselves often believe the “should’a”/“shouldn’t’a” lies).

Taking Leave

I have a novel idea: Let’s stop being fake. Let’s stop lying to ourselves and to each other.

I know. The left side of my brain just blew out.

But I think I might be on to something.

What I’ve found so far is that when we stop being fake, what is real has a chance to arise.

Now, to say that “what is real has a chance to arise” is not to say that no one goes to school or gets a job or whatever. What I’m pointing to is the need to get out of the authority-defined cubical construct suitable only for obedient clones and instead seek to uncover, each of us personally, our unique soul purpose.

What this means specifically for any given person, I cannot say. But if you’re truly tired of playing the ancient slave-game, you’ll begin finding out just as soon as you’re truly willing.

Remember Who You Are

You knew reality as a child. Do you remember that time? That short period when you still had a dream? Before the light of your soul was stomped out?

Well, they’re both still there, waiting patiently for you—reality and your dream.

You need your dream because it’s what makes you you.

Our dreams are our creative, explorative soul paths that are 100% tailored to each of us as individuals, embedded deep within our souls and yearning to come forth. Our dreams are also our paths to reality—except when we don’t follow them, when we fake who and what we are, we live only as an expendable character in some other author[-ity]’s story.

Make It Real

Understand that there is nothing of value to gain in being fake—it’s just a very hard, exhausting, and painful path. But there is everything to gain in being authentic and making your dream a reality.

What I’m asking you to do now is become the author and authority of your own story, of your own life. Make it real.

Do what you know in your soul is yours to do. Be as you’d come here to be.

Saturday, November 25, 2017

You're Being Played

by John Boodhansingh of Zero Mindfulness

Who are you?
Why are you here?
What is your purpose in life?

Most likely, you can only answer these questions based on what the world has told you.

Because you have spent your life following and knowing only what has been provided to you by authority.

What is this “authority”?

The answer is in the word: author-ity.

In their name, you have abandoned your worth, your individuality, your creativity; you have given them all your power and thus allow them to author your life.

You are like the player in a video game. You appear to yourself as doing everything—all the acting, all the speaking, all the choosing. But, in fact, you’re merely a programmed tool, a two-dimensional character in an illusory world of other-defined parameters, owned and operated by an unseen hand.

May I make a suggestion to you?

If you were truly in a video game, I would tell you to turn around, to look into the screen and see that you’re being played.

But you’re not. Similar, but not.

You must look inward.

Do it.

It’s the only way out.

Tuesday, November 14, 2017

Aging: Leveling Up or Numerical Slavery?

by John Boodhansingh of Zero Mindfulness

I’ve been lingering on this post for a few weeks now. Minus some tweaking, I’ve generally been satisfied with the main text. But the intro and conclusion just weren’t working in my favor.

Ironically, then, in the midst of this writing came my birthday, and for my birthday someone had sent me a card that on the front says, “You’re a good example of what happens when people eat right, exercise, and really take care of themselves,” only to be followed up inside with, “They get old anyway.”

Ha. Funny. Well-timed, too. Because it’s become key to the intro and conclusion I’d been looking for. Thank you.

By all means, I found the card to be humorous, and I’m grateful for having received it. Nonetheless, as I’d already begun writing about in the body of this text, the mentality implied by the card, culturally-prevalent though it is, isn’t exactly true; “isn’t exactly” meaning that I see a very big difference between “aging” and “getting old”: All “aging” means, at least to me, is an extension of lifespan, whereas “getting old” is far more suggestive of degeneration.

Yes, in life as we know it the physical body changes throughout the aging process. Yet there are a plethora of accounts of both individuals and whole societies who “eat right, exercise, and really taken care of themselves” and although they’ve aged they’ve never “gotten old”—they go to their graves happy, healthy, and mentally sharp.

This writing is meant to help people see just this point and to bring awareness of certain lines of thinking that cause so many people to “get old” rather than age gracefully.

For many folks, it starts evidently at “the beginning of the end”:

40: “Over the Hill” Bummin’

To those who’ve hit 40 and are bummed, I’d like to offer you some upliftment:

Going by averages, there was a time when at 40 years old you were reasonably likely to already be dead, or nearly so. Nowadays, you’re less than halfway.

Which, yeah, I suppose this still may seem depressing if your life outlook suggests that ages 40 and up are consumed primarily by excess weight, wrinkles, debt, physical and mental degeneration, and copious Big Pharma prescriptions.

What I’d like you to see here is that this view of the future will generally only become your future to the degree that you allow it. Some things may be guaranteed, but their extent is likely not. And for sure, you don’t have to live your life as one of the now-rampant walking dead.

What, really, is 40? It’s just another day. The only thing that makes it a predicament, as many people accept being “over the hill” to be, is the mentality about it.

Because, truth is, lifespan is not a given. There are about 34,000 life-related span factors (diet, pollution, etc.) and we don’t know what fate has in store for us. Some people die at birth and some people die at 115 years old. It thus makes no sense to don slumped shoulders and a depressive attitude at a time that’s far more of an arbitrary numerical label than a milestone of suddenly onsetting incapacity.

It may be valid that around 40 years of age the body generally makes some less-than-“youthening” physiological shifts. But to worry and condemn one’s self about it necessarily accelerates, if not actually manifests, any potential, if otherwise improbable, breakdown. Furthermore, this age marker implies nothing about one’s future quality of life, particularly for those who live and treat themselves well.

For example (if I recall correctly), in the book The Big Fat Surprise: Why Butter, Meat and Cheese Belong in a Healthy Diet by Nina Teicholz, there is the mention of a small place in the Mediterranean-area where nearly all people are full of life and regularly have sex well into their 80’s and 90’s. Contrast this to the US with its approximately 120 million men, 30 million—or a full 1/4—of which have erectile dysfunction (ED)—plenty of them being under age 40!

Or consider the late Olga Kotelko. I really don’t know how she was feeling around age 40, but it seems she’d lived her pre-retirement life as more or less average as anyone else. Post-retirement, however, she decided to take up track and field… and blasted out more than 30 world records and 750 gold medals in her age category. I don’t know, maybe into her 90’s she’d only had 2 other competitors, but to compete as she had is practically unheard of.

The Mid-Life Crisis

All dissatisfaction results from imbalanced thinking and repressed emotional content.

This lingers, and worsens, for decades. Then around age 40 (perhaps at this time due to our programming that 40 is the onset of “the end”) there comes for many a mental notice of having neither accomplished nor self-realized anything truly internally satisfying. Compounding the discomfort of the age-equals-decay mentality, feelings of emptiness and regret arise, or at least intensify.

One well-known manifestation of this middle-age dissatisfaction is what’s been termed a “mid-life crisis.” In one sentence, we might define this as, “the climax of an increasing sense of internal meaninglessness, the resolution of which is typically sought in the external indulgence of spending gobs of cash on a ‘dream’ item.”

To elaborate:

We’re taught from Day 1 that feeling our feelings is weak, that putting attention on ourselves is selfish, that expressing ourselves creatively and spontaneously is childish. So we abandon our true needs and repress our true feelings, and we thus come to utterly devalue our inherent worth. We become conditioned to believe that our increasingly ubiquitous inner void can be satiated by external doings and gettings. And since we simultaneously learn to equate self-worth with financial and material worth, we come to believe that the bigger/better/stronger/faster/hotter/cooler/etc. we and our bank account and possessions are, the greater our personal value.

In practice this theory never ends up working, for anyone, ever, but we try and try and try again, harder and harder each time. We’re unhappy, so we go shopping. We feel worthless, so we go to the casino. We feel lacking in love, so we stuff our faces with food. And with each one we get a little less happy, a little poorer, and a little fatter. Which causes us to feel even more unhappy, worthless, and loveless. But we’d best not feel, and so we up the ante just a hair further.

Unfortunately, this stuffing down with immense repressive pressure doesn’t quite make diamonds of the rock of discomfort sitting within us. In this psycho-emotional condition, it’s almost unquestionable that by middle age we’ve already taken on any of a variety of diseases, addictions, and disorders as both coping mechanisms and symptoms of deeper rot. No matter, the answer is surely out there…

“If only I get the right thing. If I just spend enough money. If only I get the car I’ve always wanted… If only I splurge and get the Ferrari and show it off to all my friends and neighbors and they give me attention as I polish it every Saturday afternoon in my driveway… Then I’ll feel satisfied.”

And so that’s what people do, each respective of his or her income and level of insanity: They splurge and get the Ferrari and show it off and polish it every weekend… For approximately two weekends, after which (+ or – two weekends) they feel empty again.

Common though it may be, having a mid-life crisis is a sign of mental, emotional, and spiritual imbalance and is a crisis of self-identity.

[Aside: In this patriarchal society—one dominated by masculine energies and suppressive of the feminine—many purchases throughout life, at least for males, are personified as “her” and “she.” This is a subconscious pining for the deficient motherly love, affection, warmth, tactile interaction, etc. of childhood. As a man’s female partner becomes a mirror of his mother, so does his car, boat, or circular saw become a mother-substitute meant to satisfy his unsettled inner child and ease the repressed pain of his feminine self-aspects such as emotional freedom.]

Age Adversely Affects All Ages

As I’ve been alluding to, this trouble humanity has with aging is not solely the problem of mid-lifers.

Hitting 40 years of age and thinking there’s suddenly some age-related curse to worry about is as bad as hitting any other birthday or holiday and wallowing in one’s misery about the same. “Oh, God, I’m [insert unfortunate age here]. I should be further in life. I should have a girlfriend. I should have a house. Blah, blah, blah.”

Consider some peoples’ Valentine’s Day mentality: While a great many people are lavishing their significant others with love, dinner, and grossly-overpriced Hallmark cards, there are plenty of others who don’t have a date and get depressed and self-pitying about it.

But what is “Valentine’s Day” other than a label on a period of hours between two sleep segments? For one thing, people shouldn’t need a national holiday to remind them that they’re supposed to love the ones they claim to love. Secondly, why don’t those without dates get wildly depressed three weeks before Valentine’s Day, or maybe five months after? There are countless other couples loving, dining, and getting it on right then, too, so what makes this one singular day any more important?

A goofy bit of cultural indoctrination. That’s it. Yet these goofy bits of cultural indoctrination can get people so depressed that they haven’t done more, been more, seen more, or whatevered more.

Oddly, however, it doesn’t seem to occur to people that if they can’t do, be, see, or whatever, if something is holding them back, then they need to actively clean up their inner wasteland. They instead get caught up in the "poor me" trap of the savior/victim mentality: that accomplishment and life satisfaction will either never arrive because they’re too unworthy, or it will magically arrive with their mere “effort” of aging or if they only wallow long enough.

Maybe it’s time to try doing something different…?

We’re Better than We Think—Even When We’re Really Screwed Up.

I just turned 33. My life has been flatter than a 10-year-old soda, opened and in the summer heat. Or maybe it’s been more like a desert hardpan that’s drier than death and has its sudden drops where all the many cracks open up. In either case...

If my life hadn’t taken an unexpected turn for the positively unimaginable, I’m pretty sure that by the time I’d have hit 40 I’d be 100% invested in the Man-I-hate-myself-I’m-40-now-fucking-ancient-and-have-done-nothing-and-feel-empty mentality that plenty of others are (or something like it, more or less consciously). Similar can be said of other birthdays and holidays as well, as this has been something that had pulled me down regularly throughout my life.

Yes, some part of me had always maintained hope. But hope’s for dopes when we make no effort toward improvement. Which I didn’t, because in my tiny, little world, I’d lacked any sense that I could actively get better. I’d simply had too much internal sludge distorting my self-perception.

What I now realize but no one had ever told me (with true understanding) back then or helped me to truly see is:

There is nothing fundamentally wrong with me.

Instead, there’s something wrong with how I’ve been taught to think, with how I process information and emotions, and it stems back to my childhood.

And guess what else?

There’s nothing fundamentally wrong with you, either.

If your life is flat and/or you’re aged between, say, 6 and 106 and you feel like you’re wasting and empty (whatever that means for you, a little or a lot), do yourself the favor of checking out the near-infinite self-help, spirituality, and psychology videos on YouTube, pick up a few such books, or go see a healer of some kind. Or all three. Work with someone who can help you access your unkind past that you don’t remember, or don’t like to, and process it out.

Your unhealed past is the very reason your life feels empty, like it keeps going nowhere, backwards, or in circles. You’re not inherently ugly or sinful or damned or a waste of life or a loser or untalented or anything like that. You have a dense internal darkness blotting out your light.

And take heed, some of you, because I know you may read this and try to justify that how you’re going about is okay when somewhere inside you know it’s not. “But I travel here, and I do this with my kids and husband, and I have this nice house and a solid job…”

How do you feel?

Deep down, when all else is set aside, when you go to bed at night and in the dark you think those private thoughts just before falling asleep that you wouldn’t dare speak openly in the light, how do you feel?

There’s no doubt in my mind that there’s a disheartening plentitude of people out there who beautifully satisfy the status quo yet still wake up every morning, still go to bed every night, and still live nearly every moment of their life in between wishing they’d felt satisfied and good enough; wishing they didn’t have that nagging inner void that nothing in the external world ever seems capable of satiating.

And truth is, we would all do well to see a healer because we’ve all got issues related to distorted thinking and repressed emotions. Our culture has done its best to make it look like only “retards” need such help and that the average person should be ashamed to do so, but we’re all in desperate need—even more so if we believe we don’t need help or “can’t” be helped.

Consider it an option. You won’t likely find one better.

Age Blame

The final concern I want to bring up is blaming age for personal stubbornness, carelessness, etc.

I’ve heard too many people of all ages say things like, “The doctor told me that I’m going to have/get [insert lousy physical future here],” and, “It’s supposed to be this way.” And they accept these things as truth, without question or effort to prove otherwise, because they’re coming from “authority,” are the norm, support “who I am” programming, or something stupid like that. Or maybe they say things such as, “The doctor told me to stop [this harmful behavior] because it’s negatively affecting my [physical ailments].” And then they continue right on with their self-destructive practices.

In cases like the above, people choose not to help themselves, not to take care of themselves, not to question, and thus kick-start or accelerate their degradation. It’s not age that hurts them, then, but poor diet, lack of exercise and adequate rest, and so on—the adverse consequences of which they insistently blame on age.

But do you know what sucks about this path? It’s the path of a likely slow and painful demise.

Level Up. Don’t Be a Numerical Slave.

Contrary to what’s been generally accepted, it is possible to age without “getting old.” Because “what happens when people eat right, exercise, and really take care of themselves” is that they thrive.

If we’re not doing this, then the first question to ask is, Why not?—a question we can immediately follow up with, How am I hurting/inhibiting myself?

Thriving doesn’t hurt, but mere survival and even self-destructive and self-diminishing behaviors do—and there are a lot of people (unconsciously) involved in a lot of the latter.

So we have to look within and do our best to work through our issues. With this healing we cease being slaves to falsely-conceived age depictions of our present and future and instead “level up” into longer and far more satisfying and fulfilling lives.

Tuesday, October 24, 2017

Baby's Breath

by John Boodhansingh of Zero Mindfulness

Picture, if you would, a newborn child as it sleeps on its back.

See this child breathe, and watch how its belly rises and falls with each breath while its chest remains still.

Now try this: Place one hand on your chest and the other hand on your belly. As you breathe, take note of which hand is rising and falling. Under balanced conditions, the hand on your belly is the only one that should be moving.

The idea, here, is that each breath is best taken with the diaphragm, as this will exercise the full capacity of the lungs. Which makes a lot of sense, does in not? After all, the diaphragm is specifically designed for the purpose of lung expansion and contraction. Yes, chest breathing can do similar, but “similar” is the equivalent of “shallow” and “weak” and implicit of “unwell.”

Due to stresses from the outside world, as each of us makes our way through life our breathing will gradually change from a circular, deep, diaphragm-induced breath pattern—like the worry-free sleeping child—to a shallow, chest-induced breath pattern with pauses between each inhale and exhale—like most grown adults. This is such a common occurrence yet so little has been said in regard to it that few of us realize the maladjustment or the profoundly negative impact it has on our day to day lives.

As humans, we need a plentiful and continuous amount of fresh air in order to maintain our well-being. However, with what we’ll likely find as our typical breathing patterns, we do not enable ourselves to receive this.

Like I said, chest breathing is shallow and quick. This prevents us from taking in the necessary volume of air required for good health. To make matters worse, this chest breathing is often done with a gap between each breath. Not only does this pause further reduce the amount of air we inhale, but it momentarily cuts off the breath completely.

To better grasp why this is so important, let’s look at how the mechanical ventilation system of a building works in relation to the humans working inside of it. Such a system is designed and installed for a continuous flow of fresh air. To maintain health, when fresh air is pumped in, stale air is pumped out—always at the rate determined during the design process per specifications such as building volume and occupancy level.

This mechanical system is very similar to a human body exhibiting proper lung function. Unfortunately, most of these bodies are breathing poorly, and the results are very different…

Let’s imagine working in a shed with closed doors and windows on a humid, 98.6 degree day. In addition, let’s pretend that the ventilation system is dysfunctional and only works at 20 percent of full capacity; blowing a little bit of air in, waiting several moments, and then pulling a little bit of air out.

I’m sure you can imagine how the atmosphere inside this shed would get very unpleasant very quickly and only continue to worsen. This is the difference between breathing at 20 percent of full capacity, which is normal for most people, and breathing at the 100 percent capacity we have been created to breathe at.

With chest-induced and broken-flow breathing, this is, in effect, how we are treating our bodies. For this reason, it comes as no surprise that we are continually plagued by stress and dis-ease. Such a predicament only worsens when we choose to smoke habitually, work in stale or polluted air environments, have lung issues, or a combination of the three.

Our bodies require full and continual refreshment. Oxygen must constantly fill the body as an aid to clearing out toxins and supporting revitalization at the cellular level—both of which aid greatly in providing health and balance to all aspects of life.

There is a species of Grape Hyacinth known as Muscari neglectum.

The word muscari is from the Greek muschos, meaning “musk,” and is a reference to scent. Neglectum is from Latin and means “neglected, disregarded.”

This same flower that translates to “scent neglected” is commonly referred to as “Baby’s Breath.”

Indeed, the baby’s breath has been neglected.

Note: This is a modified version of a post originally published on 6/15/12 to former personal blog “Without a Story.”

Thursday, October 12, 2017

Kundalini Awakening: The True Sacrament of Confirmation

by John Boodhansingh of Zero Mindfulness

And when the day of Pentecost was fully come, they were all with one accord in one place. And suddenly there came a sound from heaven as of a rushing mighty wind, and it filled all the house where they were sitting. And there appeared unto them cloven tongues like as of fire, and it sat upon each of them. And they were all filled with the Holy Ghost, and began to speak with other tongues, as the Spirit gave them utterance.
--Acts 2:1-4

Confirmation As Per the Roman Catholic Church

According to the Catechism of the Catholic Church – Part 2 in line 1285 in Section 2, Chapter 1, Article 2:
Baptism, the Eucharist, and the sacrament of Confirmation together constitute the "sacraments of Christian initiation," whose unity must be safeguarded. It must be explained to the faithful that the reception of the sacrament of Confirmation is necessary for the completion of baptismal grace. For "by the sacrament of Confirmation, [the baptized] are more perfectly bound to the Church and are enriched with a special strength of the Holy Spirit. Hence they are, as true witnesses of Christ, more strictly obliged to spread and defend the faith by word and deed."
Further down on line 1303 under Segment III, “The Effects of Confirmation,” it goes on to say:
From this fact, Confirmation brings an increase and deepening of baptismal grace:
- it roots us more deeply in the divine filiation which makes us cry, "Abba! Father!";
- it unites us more firmly to Christ;
- it increases the gifts of the Holy Spirit in us;
- it renders our bond with the Church more perfect;
- it gives us a special strength of the Holy Spirit to spread and defend the faith by word and action as true witnesses of Christ, to confess the name of Christ boldly, and never to be ashamed of the Cross[.]

Catholic Confirmation: As I Recall My Own

When I was in 8th grade and 14 years old, we, as a class of students at a Catholic school, prepared for and then received the Sacrament of Confirmation.

Of preparation, I only recall two things: one was about memorizing the “8 Gifts of the Holy Spirit” and another few-sentence bit, and one was that the teacher would repeatedly yell at us that, You are not even confirmation candidates! when we’d make a mistake while reciting them. (I don’t know. Maybe God withholds love from those with a poor memory, especially under stress.)

Of the actual Confirmation service, well, let’s just say it was nothing spectacular. To start we walked up the center aisle of the church in order of height, girls on one side and boys on the other, and then basically, if I recall correctly, had a regular mass but with the incorporation of a segment where we’d lined up and had chrism put on our foreheads as the bishop said some ritualistic words.

We’d then gone on our way, supposedly “sealed” with the Holy Spirit.

Catholic Confirmation: The Effects, Personally and Generally Noted

One would think that being “sealed” with the Holy Spirit and being “fully initiated in Christ” would be some awesomely-felt bestowal of Grace; like a fire would be lit inside; like one would be suddenly ready to die in the name of Jesus. According to the Catechism, line 1303, I and others should have been crying: “Abba! Father!”

Absurd as it sounds to say it this way, the most “action” I, and it had appeared most if not all others, had felt was the bishop’s thumb physically slipping around as he put the chrism on my forehead. I’ve personally been in a Confirmation, I’ve been witness to at least three others, and I’ve been surrounded by Catholics my whole life, but I can’t say I’ve heard anyone—ever—joyfully, gratefully, happily, or whateverly aver anything like “Abba! Father!” (...Only, "Oh, my God!" when surprising things happen.)

Next, line 1303 tells us that Confirmation “unites us more firmly to Christ” and “increases the gifts of the Holy Spirit in us.” Again, one would think this would be perceivable in some way. Maybe one would suddenly realize deeper spiritual truths or treat self and other more kindly and lovingly. If such is true, it was certainly lost on me, and I’ve no doubt, on countless others.

Similar to this are the final two effects which note the “[rendering of] our bond with the Church [as] more perfect,” and “a special strength of the Holy Spirit to spread and defend the faith … as true witnesses of Christ, to confess the name of Christ boldly, and never to be ashamed of the Cross.”

From the time I can remember remembering, I have always rejected the Church. I’d always felt terribly ashamed of myself regarding any apparent faith in Jesus, about “preaching the Good Word,” about all of it. If it didn’t seem like it at times, the reasons are three-fold:
  1. Fear of reprisal,
  2. Despair and apathy, and/or
  3. Dumping it down other people’s throats (minus the lethality of the Crusaders) in attempt to prove to myself that it’s “right” and “true.”
Folks, there was nothing “perfect” prior to Confirmation, and there was certainly nothing rendered “more perfect” due to Confirmation. It seems to me the story is more or less the same for most others.

To follow, we’d received Confirmation at the end of grade school. If everyone from all the surrounding schools had been “confirmed in Christ” and had truly experienced and attained what is claimed, how does that justify my Catholic high school experience?

How does it justify the behavior of the kids who, like the flick of a light switch, suddenly went from a friend to not even looking at me, ever, because now they we’re too popular and cool and athletic? How does it justify the behavior of the kids who spent most weekends drinking underage and illegally smoking pot? How does it justify the behavior of the kids who had non-marital sexual relations? How does it justify the behavior of the kids who didn’t really care about Catholicism but simply went through the motions because that’s what they’d been taught to do, because they were attending a parent-paid Catholic school? How does it justify the behavior of the kids who picked on others, who committed acts of vandalism and violence?

Moving on then to college and the “real world,” with uncommon exception we’d see an intensification of the above and more (unless for deeper repression) without one deliberately doing the hard, inner work; for age just makes people more of who they’d been programmed to be as children.

Let's not forget the fair amount of the Church clergy itself, top of the hierarchy to the bottom, who are not only thoroughly "initiated in Christ" and the Church, but regularly engage in any and/or all acts of alcoholism, gluttony, pedophilia, and more commonly just a few decades ago, child-beating.

These are only some of the most prominent issues that come to mind, but in total they are extraordinarily prevalent and are wildly misaligned with the claimed effects of Confirmation.

Of the relatively fewer people who aren’t so messed up, it’s highly doubtful to me that the Sacrament of Confirmation did anything for them. If so, I’d argue it’s vastly more about their beliefs that it did something special than based on some amazing metaphysical transformation.

From Fiction To Fact

What I have come to find is that the play the Church has been putting on is just that—a play. It’s a false show designed to make people feel "connected" and "holy" (if not holier-than-thou). It's about appearances and keeping people in the dark while bonded to a man-made, profit-seeking organization.

Just like Baptism and First Holy Communion, children are indoctrinated very early, before they develop the skill of critical thinking. They’re “taken” while still under the control of their parents who had been forced into the same position and who will now willingly put their kids through the same deal to justify to themselves that “it’s the right thing to do” as not to have to face disapproval and their own potential errors and repressed hurts.

Unfortunately, these sacraments are not things any church has the divine right—much less the ability—to bestow, especially not to people at such an early age and with such negative intention and “false truth” to back them. (Average clergy probably don't realize the deception, but the higher up the pyramid, the more they most certainly do.)

As I will now get to, the truth of the “Holy Spirit in man” is known and has been known for eons. But Western man has rejected it because it doesn’t turn a profit or maintain dependency.

True “Confirmation in the Holy Spirit” comes from within, often unexpectedly, by way of Divine Grace. It is commonly triggered by an external experience, such as an effect of a mass meditation or with the touch or glance of a true spiritual master through what is called “Shaktipat.”

It is not handed out willy-nilly to everyone and their brother like some “complementary gift” for reaching a certain age or for following a certain set of dogma. It comes to whomever it may come, from any walk of life, in “Divine Timing” and with reasons no unawakened person can say. And when the experience arrives, you will very most likely know it.

It’s called a kundalini awakening.

Kundalini Awakening

Kundalini (a Sanskrit word), or "Divine Fire," is the Spirit of God in man that, for most people, resides dormant at the base of their spines. It is the primal, creative force of existence and the higher-dimensional catalyst of human evolution and divine-self-realization.

As far as I know, in the East, kundalini has never not been known. It’s always been highly respected: countless songs, books, chants, gods, and so on have been created in honor of it. Kundalini goes by many names and is of a female essence (making it no wonder why patriarchal Western man so thoroughly rejects it).

Kundalini begins as an upward moving energy, from the base of the spine to the crown of the head. It is not unusual for the awakening energy to cause a burning sensation (some have said it had initially felt to them like a freight train blazing up their spines) as well as a diverse array of other physical, psychological, and emotional effects. Psychic phenomena such as clairvoyance and clairaudience are also commonly experienced. The awakening is frequently accompanied by a feeling of great joy and gratitude, if not a heavenly bliss.

The result of this awakening is an expansion of conscious Self-awareness. Additionally, the cosmic unfoldment that begins with kundalini gradually opens the awakening one to "superpowers." This is the foundation of the Saints’ and others’ abilities to work “miracles.” Hence, Jesus’ statements:

  • “Verily, I say unto you: Those who believe in me will do the works that I am doing. And they shall do even greater works than these because I am going to my Father.” (John 14:12)
  • “…for truly I say unto you, if you have faith the size of a mustard seed, you will say unto this mountain, ‘Move from here to there,’ and it shall move. Nothing will be impossible for you.” (Matthew 17:20)

Nearly without exception (some never leave the state of bliss), however, this light of heightened awareness brings to the now-awakened’s attention a mind-blowing level of darkness that had been residing within them, much previously unseen, much simply avoided, and must now be cleaned up: negative karma, repressed trauma, fear, false belief, and all the self- and other-harming behaviors, addictions, compulsions, and so on taken on in reaction to them.

Here is where one drops into what is commonly known as the “dark night of the soul.” It becomes necessary to feel one’s way through and purge whatever internal horrors arise in order to fully integrate the light opened to them with the awakening.

The consequence of this awakening and healing is nothing short of realizing one’s true, whole, spiritual nature.

I’m exceedingly doubtful that anyone who’s ever experienced the run-of-the-mill religious “Confirmation” has experienced a simultaneous kundalini awakening.

My Kundalini Experience

“For where two or three are gathered together in my name, there am I in the midst of them.”
--Matthew 18:20
On the evening of 12/12/12, I took part in an online, global meditation. At the time given, all began the same guided mediation.

As the meditation went on, I felt like my body’s energy was gradually and subtly rising, like a gently vivid vibration in every cell of my body. Then about halfway through, I began smiling and laughing gently. Soon after, my face shaped itself in a way I’m not sure it ever has; it felt strange and somewhere between laughing and crying with joy.

There then came a part where I nearly “lost it.” My hands were sweating and felt like they were plugged into an electrical outlet. My breathing had also become so involuntarily voluminous that I had to mouth-breathe wide and deep to keep up. I’d also felt for a time as though my body had gone stiff, as if frozen in my seated position.

When the meditation ended, I laid on the floor on my back feeling unfathomably energized. What came to fill me was a joy like nothing I’d previously known, not even close. With every inhale I felt both the subtle and the powerful vibrations and shudders that we’re now consuming my body. With every exhale, I trembled intensely; my arms hopped, my legs jerked, and my abdomen and back tensed up. My hands still felt like there was lightning inside of them, and my teeth chattered like mad. I’d also felt unusually cold.

Following about 10 minutes of this, I began laughing hysterically with a "causeless" joy while continuing to shake uncontrollably. Laying on the floor for maybe 30 to 60 minutes, my body finally calmed. This was just the beginning.

The Darkness

In the immediate days after, I continued to feel deeply joyful and experienced periodic episodes of shaking and the like, although most of this eventually subsided. Within about four months I’d fallen into a dark night of the soul. The weight of inner darkness to initially arise was so phenomenally overwhelming and nearly unbearable: the strongest part feeling as though all the psycho-emotional torment of my prior 28 years was slammed into a 36-hour window. I didn’t handle it well and became incredibly sick.

One thing that I feel important to point out about this illness is that as diverse as the multitude of symptoms and specific issues have been over the course of the four and a half years since, they were never, as far as I’m aware, anything other than troubles I’d struggled with previously in my life—just wildly intensified. In other words, as I’d stated earlier as to kundalini burning out negative karma, such illness arose wholly as an in-my-face means of saying, "This darkness has been hiding within you, physically and metaphysically, and it needs to be healed—right now."

This dark night (which is always hard but doesn’t imply lengthy, raging sickness) is a critical step to the process of being “Confirmed in the Holy Spirit.” You see, the Holy Spirit is your Highest Self. The kundalini awakening and subsequent dark night(s) are thus a multi-level, multi-dimensional, massive purging of inner darkness and a realignment of one's human self to one’s Higher-Self, to God.

Living Confirmation

Perhaps not surprisingly, if we substitute “Christ” as a person for “Christ Consciousness” as an awakened energy of existence, if we dump out the notions of rendering a “more perfect” bond with the Church, the “Effects of Confirmation” via line 1303 in the Catholic Catechism suddenly feel very true and real.

Hopefully one day soon Western religion's Powers-That-Be will admit to giving their congregants a raw deal. And then give them the truth.

Monday, October 9, 2017

“You Have To Do Something!”: Misunderstanding Inactivity

by John Boodhansingh of Zero Mindfulness

Nothing Must Be Something because Nothing Is (Non-)Actionable

People have told me many times throughout my life: “Do something. You have to do something!”

But I didn’t.

I mean, I did.

I did nothing.

Because I didn’t know what to do or how to do it or anything like that.

It took me 30 years of deep suffering, years of self-help, and a major spiritual awakening into a dark night of the soul—to the point where I lost everything except food, clothes, and shelter and my health went totally to hell—to see that I’d spent my life struggling with helplessness, hopelessness, worthlessness, disempowerment, abandonment; embedded with lack, failure, and victim mentalities; believing myself unlovable and invisible; inept socially and sexually; feeling interminably disconnected from everyone; laden with copious amounts of shame, guilt, anger, and depression; endlessly fearing threats, abuse, and punishment; and manifesting experiences of self-sabotage of anything personally meaningful.

Carrying all this baggage, for someone to say to me, “Do something!” was meaningless.

To me, walking down the same general hallway of (apparent) life-options that 7 billion other humans are also walking down, there were no higher-self-serving doorways. Sure, there was the eat-oatmeal-for-breakfast-yet-again doorway, as were there the doorways like visit-the-dentist and go-to-work-then-to-the-gym-then-come-home-eat-dinner-and-play-videogames-all-night. But otherwise, where many saw open doors leading to potential and growth and pleasure, I saw featureless wall space.

Okay, so I exaggerated a bit. Sometimes I did see an open doorway. But why even attempt going through? After all, I’d just fuck it up, or someone would rip me a new asshole in the process. Might as well just stay at home and play videogames.

The Outward Appearance of So Much Baggage: Laziness and Boredom

Whether I or other with these or remotely akin troubles, a common way this inner muck may reveal itself (temporarily excluding neurotic and dependency/addiction-type behaviors) is through laziness.

Outwardly, it’s as most all of us know it. The “lazy” person feels ho-hum, only gets bare necessities completed, and otherwise mostly sits around watching TV or smoking pot or absorbing one’s self in some other “time-killing” manner of escape. If one is lucky enough to have something in their life that motivates them (e.g.: a sport they enjoy to play), they may or may not exhibit higher intensity about it, but they will ever return to the state of lethargy.

What’s key to recognize, well beyond the superficiality of apparent laziness or observer-created beliefs such as, “It’s just a phase,” or, “It’s part of his personality,” is that this behavior is a numbed reaction to unresolved traumas.

A related trait is boredom. The first thing that comes to mind when I think of boredom is overstimulation. In order to deal with all the internal and consequent stressors of trauma, one has to have an abundance of coping mechanisms. But all the stressors plus all the added stimuli included with coping will put one into increasing levels of overload.

To some greater or lesser degree, is this not how most people are now living? We’ve been treading into depths of stimuli more abundant and stronger than ever before, so much so that we have to dramatically desensitize in order to block ourselves from overwhelm. (Most people having no clue how much.) This numbing may have its survival benefits, but it also makes us dependent: when the stimuli are reduced we experience withdrawal and feel as if in a void—we experience boredom.

Back in the day people could peacefully chill on a rocking chair and play cards with another or sit under a tree and gaze at the horizon and feel satisfied. But now people are so overstimulated and traumatically numb while carrying such a strong, culturally-induced belief that they “must do something productive” that life becomes a vacuum when nothing immediately and sharply stimulating is available.

Generally, then, when in this position, even when one seriously considers “doing something,” what the person looks for internally is a feeling, which is to say that things like income, possible material gains, etc. don’t necessarily even come into the picture, or do so as more of an afterthought. This person thinks of possibilities of what they could do based on what would give them some sense of being alive, some sense of fulfillment, of value and importance.

Trouble is, few things light them up, and of those few things, none appear conceivable of achieving. This leads to a lack of motivation and a mental reinforcement of one’s seeming inability to do. Laziness and boredom thus perpetuate.

How Does It Feel?

Think about this for a second. Unless you’re living or have lived what I’m talking about and know it, imagine having no motivation, no inspiration, no belief that you can achieve, no sense that you deserve better than the worst. And someone starts telling you, likely in frustration: “Stop being so lazy! You have to do something!”

Not very motivating, is it? No, it’s not. And it’s wildly unhelpful, too. In fact you feel pathetic and despairing, worse than if they’d said nothing at all.

But they don’t see this. They don’t see the hurt in your eyes, the sadness in your face. They don’t see your slumped shoulders or hear the words between the lines that you speak back to them. They don’t see beyond the blatant visual inactivity before them.

They see only what they want to see, and that’s what keeps them safe…

Hypocritical Commands

What’s striking about this type of situation is that, by the nature of the blindly demanding words, the speakers almost necessarily have to have their own traumas; they must almost necessarily have psycho-emotional blinders on that prevent them from seeing the truth of the situation—that if people aren’t bothering to do anything productive—are being “lazy” or are “bored”—it is because they can’t do anything productive.

Furthermore, while words are the weakest of ways to teach or help (action and energy being the strongest), statements as mentioned here, although they will cause upset, are frequently empty in the sense that they’re usually spoken by one who cannot see his own flaws: The subject one is challenging another about is the same thing he either wishes not to face or simply doesn’t have the conscious awareness to see as also existent within himself.

For instance, when someone tells a “lazy” person, “C’mon. You have to do something,” all they’re doing is revealing one of two things:
  1. they have the exact same issues and don’t want to change—think of parents who can’t quit smoking so they repeatedly urge their kid to stop, or
  2. while they personally may not exhibit the characteristics of laziness, they are either overachievers or, at minimum, doing for fear of rejection (likely by their parents, even if their parents are dead).
The former should be self-explanatory: it’s laziness teaching laziness through an unwillingness or inability to walk one’s talk. Of the latter: One doesn’t act under the belief that he "already is" a reject, and one acts for fear of “becoming” or being perceived as a reject. They’re merely two sides of the same coin. One doesn’t comprehend help, whatever that could imply, and the other sees nothing amiss because he fits in with authoritative direction and “The Almighty Way of Busyness.” Yet, because the “pusher” is also troubled but his troubles are culturally praised, he imagines that by telling others what to do he must be somehow “helping.” Of course, he cannot be, for he has not helped himself. What can he give to another that he does not himself first have?

Live Clearly To Give Clearly

In nearly all unsolicited cases, when we actively point out where we perceive others to be wrong and incompetent (in whatever way) or we tell them what they “should” do as if they are wrong and incompetent (that’s the subtle message we send them), we’re only serving to point out the same things denied or unrealized within ourselves.

If we truly want to help, we must be clear about ourselves first—because if we can’t be clear about ourselves, we haven’t the foggiest about what’s really going on with someone else. Even if one, such as a psychoanalyst, were to intellectually get it, the knowledge remains useless if unintegrated, if unfelt, if prior trauma still obscures one’s willingness to see or accept the uncomfortable truth in another because it resonates with the uncomfortable truth in one’s self.

To get to this point requires serious, inward-focused effort. It doesn’t magically happen due to the process of aging, it’s not intrinsically bestowed when acquiring titles like “parent” or “coach” or “teacher,” and it doesn’t come about with our external accumulation of medals or degrees. It’s vastly, if not wholly, a result of scouring our inner world and opening to both our feeling and intuitive capacities.

Only in this way is there an understanding of the line between when we’re seeking to control others and when we’re truly helping them; only in this way is there clarity as to someone who’s consciously choosing not to be productive and one who’s being inhibited by deep inner struggles.

The kind of people who can truly help others as described here are the ones who:
  1. Quickly recognize the inhibition as caused by deep psycho-emotional wounding, and
  2. Reach out with a hand and ask, “Would you like some help?” and, if accepted, offer compassionate service rather than dump on them for not being who they're "supposed" to be.

Guidance: Useless Vs. Useful

The last thing I’d like to discuss is the form of guidance, and I’m going to ask you to imagine again.

Imagine that you join a baseball team and practice regularly with the team, at home, and with friends. You’re interested in the sport, but your skill level is quite poor. And people, maybe even the coaches and your parents, are forever saying to you, “Catch the ball!” “Dang, kid. Put your glove in front of the incoming ball and close it!” “Why can’t you just catch the ball?”

Makes you feel like a self-loathing, failed waste of life and space, does it not?

Wouldn’t it be magnificent, then, if people would instead say something kindly and useful? “Avoid hiding your face behind the mitt. You’ll never catch the ball if you can’t see it, and it’s far safer.” Or, “Let’s try working with catching at shorter distances and work up to longer ones.” Or, “You’ll get better with practice. I’ll show you some useful techniques.”

What this imagining reveals to us is how open-endedly useless a phrase like, “You have to do something!” is. It's like telling an alcoholic, "Stop drinking!" Such statements neither point out specific issues nor offer anything by way of solution.

What needs to be done can be described using an immediate example: this blog. Generally when I write, I
  1. point out specific issues,
  2. thoroughly illustrate my points, often through experience, and then
  3. offer solutions.
I do this because it’s the practical, meaningful, helpful thing to do. And I don’t publish anything unless I feel I have a sufficient handle on it; something for which, although, yes, I can make mistakes, I’d like to believe I can be quite honest with myself about because the inner work naturally results with ever-deepening self-integrity, honesty, and so forth.

Know Yourself, and Know Your Place

They say, “The road to hell is filled with good intentions.”

I understand that those who use phrases like, “Just do something!” are usually well-meaning. But this is also the proverbial “road to hell.”

For the idle one, such “advice” is taken not as help but more as an attack, and one they cannot adequately defend against. Thus the “commander’s” words do the reverse of the intended. As for the “commander,” he most likely is only using this type of phrase to in some way, unconsciously to himself, protect his own ego. He’s thus doing double damage.

It’s therefore vital to do the inner work. For only then, to the extent that we have helped and have begun to know our true selves, will we be able to serve others, will we be able to clearly feel and intuit what is truly going on with another and how to help them effectively—something for which, as will probably be both surprising and disturbing to many, means that sometimes we help by not helping at all.


You may also wish to see this similar post from 5/1/15 titled, "Change Your Perspective! (Damnit!)"