Thursday, January 19, 2017

"...And Maybe I'm Just Makin' Shit Up!"

by John Boodhansingh of Zero Mindfulness

Things have been intense lately.

I don’t necessarily mean this in terms of what’s happening “out there.” Yes, much of “out there” is going bonkers. But it is very possible to detach from the collective and remain calm within ourselves as “out there” goes off the deep end…or, in many cases, merely appears to.

It has just seemed to me lately that the subtle energies of life, existence, of the cosmos, of awakening are pushing majorly for us—or me and a few others, at least—to detach from all that is not in alignment with our true nature.

Today I had intended to do a particular “something.” It wasn’t a necessity, but something that I’d seen as important and had felt would have enhanced my life. While I could have acted sooner and felt both personally interested and intuitively guided toward it, for some weeks now I’d lingered until I’d sorted out some related issues.

Feeling more confident, today, about the decision and intending to follow through… I didn’t act. Not because I blew the opportunity or something, but because things just suddenly became what I can only term “irresonant.” It’s quite hard to explain, as the shift was so abrupt, so unexpected, so strange, even. It’s like everything was the same as ever, yet completely different at the same time; this not being in a good or bad way but simply one like, Things are different now—let go.

What I’m increasingly finding out is that I really don’t know much of anything. I may have strong beliefs or feelings about something one week or one day, and it seems like the universe is in support of it… Only to get to the next week or the next day (time being arbitrary) and find that whatever it is I’ve been thinking and feeling either needs to be overhauled or dropped altogether—the support often being unexpectedly pulled out from beneath my feet. My actions, intentions, desires, and so forth must be questioned and reevaluated constantly. Even that which, like writing this blog, I feel a soul-driven inspiration to do. It must be questioned, and I must be willing to give it up, promptly and without evident reason, if the intuitive impulse should come to do just that.

It for this reason that as of late I’ve frequently found myself following up any given thoughts with the exclamation:

…And maybe I’m just makin’ shit up!

Because all that is out of integrity, all that is in any way negatively-oriented or self-reducing, all that feels “off” in any way, all that is “who I am” and “what I want,” it’s all being realized so clearly as false and misaligned. With peaceful acceptance or kicking and screaming, it’s all itching to be burned up in the light of awareness, now.

Every seemingly concrete thing I might attempt to point my finger at and say, “May I?” reduces itself to a sand heap, blown away by a wind felt so forcefully and gracefully yet ever unseen.

Maybe you know what I’m talking about.

And maybe you don’t.

...Maybe I’m just makin’ shit up!

Wednesday, January 11, 2017

Silly Traditions: Conventional Christmas Gifting

by John Boodhansingh of Zero Mindfulness

Christmas Gifting the Conventional Way

I’ll make a list with financially-valued items I want for Christmas. You’ll make a list of your own, as will any others with whom we do a gift exchange. We’ll then share our lists with each other, hoping, assuming, expecting, “knowing,” that those we gave our lists to will gift to us what we’d wanted.

Then during the Christmas gift exchange, we and any others with whom we’d shared our lists will trade decorative paper-wrapped packages with the listed items inside. We’ll unwrap them and act excited that we gotten exactly what we’d asked for. (And why not—we’d hyperlinked the damn things.)

Interestingly, assuming the items any person wants aren’t whimsical fancies to quell uncomfortable emotions and/or “needs” as defined by repetitive and highly deceptive marketing—of which many are either or both—the items are generally things that the people requesting them could and would probably get themselves, but, well, it’s Christmas time.

So, pretending there are six of us in a gift exchange, I’ll take the $250 that I’d otherwise spend on myself and instead spend $50 on each of you other folks; you will each spend $50 per person on me and one another. We’ll also spend the extra time, money, and energy on wrapping supplies and activities.

In the end, it’s no more than a wash. Everyone is $250 shorter but with a heap of new possessions valued by current economic rates at $250—all items of which we could have just purchased for ourselves, may well have done so otherwise, and more or less knew in advance we were getting. Not to mention, after a few seconds, hours, or days, our happiness wanes, and we set our mind on the next thing we “need” that will, most certainly, bring us the lasting happiness we’d sought through the attainment of many of those items.

The only one who wins is Big Business… Especially considering that many gifters go into debt (likely further than they already are); buy more so in order to avoid facing the discomfort of failed responsibility, the guilt of not giving, and so forth; or decide to go Christmas shopping on Black Friday only to be trampled, stabbed, cursed, maimed, and maybe dead.

…The latter of which, as you’ll soon see, is actually quite historically-appropriate behavior for the Christmas season…

What Is Christmas Gift-Giving Really About, Anyway?

“Christmas is about Jesus’ birth, of course. And the gift-giving is in remembrance of the 3 kings giving Jesus gold, frankincense, and myrrh. Everyone knows that.”

Well… No. It’d be more accurate to say, “Everyone believes that,” because neither of those two answers is correct. It’s false mythology perpetuated, somewhat deliberately and somewhat blindly, mainly by the Christian and Big Business worlds—both being anchored solidly by a huge chunk of the population too reticent to question the validity of tradition.

Just like nearly every other holiday known to man, Christmas is but one more that is founded in Paganism and celebrates humanity’s darkest and below-animalistic nature.

According to, gift-giving was originally a Roman, pre-Christian tradition of emperors pushing their most detested citizens to give offerings during the Pagan festival of “Saturnalia.”

What exactly was Saturnalia, and what kind of practices were performed during the Saturnalia festival, the festival that the Christian Christmas is founded on?

Saturnalia was an official Roman Pagan holiday, running from December 17-25, meant to worship the deity “Saturn.” During its course, courts were closed and lawlessness was, literally, the law.

To kick it off on the 17th, authorities selected a so-called “enemy of the Roman people,” or “Lord of Misrule” (an otherwise innocent person, mind you), and forced countless abuses upon him or her. From the 17th onward, behaviors ran rampant such as vandalism, intoxication, singing naked while going door to door (caroling, anyone?), rape, and gluttony. On the 25th, the authorities concluded the festival by sacrificing the initially chosen “enemy/Lord” under the belief that they were simultaneously destroying the forces of darkness.

And thus the reason why activities such as Black Friday insanity, gluttonous eating, and heavy drinking are so commonplace at Christmas time—festivalizing sin is simply par for course!

Further Research

I highly recommend you research further into the truth of our traditions, holidays, and any other such events. Christmas, certainly, because it’s impact is as great as our misconceptions about it are severe. You might start by searching with the keywords: “Pagan Origins of Christmas.” Here are two examples of what you will find:

Simple To Remember: The History of Christmas

The Real Truth: The True Origins of Christmas

Similarly, I recommend looking up the Pagan origins of every other Christian holiday as well—particularly if you are a Christian—plus those such as Columbus Day. These days of observance are absolutely not what we’ve been taught. Rather, like the origins of Christmas, they’re hidden-in-plain-sight ways of celebrating humanity’s most horrific moments.

A Wiser Approach To Gifting

I’ll guess that by now you’ve noticed the absurdity and fallacious nature of the beliefs underlying the typical way of gifting at Christmas. If you therefore choose to stop, it’s all well and good.

But I do understand if you still see significance in the practice—getting together with family, having fun, etc. This seems reasonable to me assuming that the what’s, how’s, and why’s are addressed and changed… Though it does beg the question why anyone requires a culturally-endorsed holiday to do so… It is for this reason that I offer some ideas about making the experience of gifting a more conscious activity. I’ll use my own experience to illustrate:

Over the last several years, I’ve felt inclined to be more conscious and creative about gifts. What this means is that shortly after Christmas I say to myself something like: Self, I open myself to creative ideas as to what I can give to others this coming Christmas. Thank you. And I forget about it.

Then within a few days, a few months, or only days before Christmas, creative ideas strike me out of the blue. Sometimes this means that I do buy a material item for someone, but I do so with qualities in mind such as functionality, humor, and aesthetics.

For example, this past November, my sister and her boyfriend got me two adult coloring books—with cats—lots of cats. It wasn’t until about two weeks or less before Christmas that the idea came to me to color some of the images and give them to anyone who likes cats. I ended up putting seven of the pictures into simple frames, with each picture being selected based on an intuitive feeling as to which picture would be most appreciated by whom. As it turns out, they were well-accepted by everyone, except the two kids (a 1-year and a 3-year-old… what’s wrong with them!?).

Side pictures from A Million Cats: Fabulous Felines To Color
 by Lulu Mayo; center picture (cut out) from Magical Cats:
Pads of Color by Barron's; all colored by me!

To note in regard to timeframe, while this catty idea came to me right before Christmas and was something I couldn’t have imagined earlier than November, the gift idea I got for a different gift exchange (a purchased yet functional, humorous, and aesthetically-pleasing item …at least I thought so!) came to me back in July.

Which reminds me of another gift idea I’d been struck with in late summer but a few years earlier. For this particular exchange, I’d needed only one gift with a cost of about $15. Well, I got the idea for the item below, and it was an offer I couldn’t refuse. It’s hand-made by Your Truly, and unquestionably more costly and time- and energy-consuming than I could have imagined at the start. No matter, I’m thrilled with the outcome, and I’m grateful for having had the opportunity to both make it and give it away.

Super Mario, anyone?

So, you see, conscious gifting takes the deadness and falsity out of the tradition and replaces it with what is exciting and alive. It’s far more self- and other-serving because the activity is driven by creativity, spontaneity, and intuition rather than beliefs such as, “This is the way it’s supposed to be because this is the way it’s always been,” “This item is where I’ll find happiness,” or, “If I get my son the 57” TV, I’ll finally earn his approval and he’ll respect me.”

Confronting the Discomfort of Breaking Norms and Moving On

To note, there were more than seven people I could have given gifts to in the main exchange, but I did not. They are people I have always given gifts to in prior years and whom have always given me gifts, this past year included. The only idea to come to me that felt right was the cat pictures. I noticed guilt and shame knocking at the door, but I was able to let it go quite easily this year.

It’s this area of feeling and false belief where things probably get rough for a lot of people: But if I don’t get him/her something, especially if he/she gets me something, what is he/she going to think? How will he/she treat me? How am I going to feel? How is he/she going to feel? How am I going to feel about how he/she feels?

Gift-giving can easily become a forced experience. The expectation can get heavy and leave non-givers feeling guilt and shame, while the non-receivers may feel anger or “less than” and get judgmental.

If anyone feels these things, you will find it worth your while to inquire about them so that you can move on with life. Truthfully, it’s all made up, it’s all conditioning. Conventional gift-giving is a cultural (“cult-you-are-all”) business. There is little to no freedom in its design.

We would all be far better off learning the truth, getting over our inner junk, and then allowing our creativity and uniqueness to shine through effortlessly.

We would all be far better off reaching a point where we can feel and intuit our way through giving rather than thinking our way through it as we blindly follow the lead of a tradition both silly and disturbing.

Sunday, January 8, 2017

How to Figure Out Life Lessons – Part 2

by John Boodhansingh of Zero Mindfulness

Welcome to “How to Figure Out Life Lessons – Part 2.” This is not a stand-alone blog post, so I recommend first reading "How to Figure Out Life Lessons – Part 1".

Last time I offered 6 specific pointers toward life lessons. Here in Part 2, I offer 2 general points about life lessons and some thoughts on the necessity of brutal honesty. I close with some words on the process of becoming you.

2 General Pointers toward Life Lessons

  1. Required Materials Are Provided.
  2. Although you will have to move through lessons using journaling, self-inquiry, conscious feeling, forgiveness, and so on in order resolve them, there is nothing in particular you must do to see the lessons other than being willing. Whatever life wants you to learn, the “materials” you need will be set before you.

    Below is listed a number of areas for life lessons. Each is followed up with a few notes regarding potential experiences and examples of provided “materials.”

    • Adequate self-care: You’re chronically sick, mildly or majorly, you’re taking multiple drugs, and you’re taking several more drugs to offset the side-effects of the initial drugs… You are supplied with any medication to suppress any symptom and with doctors who’re willing to increasingly feed you these drugs without second thought.

    • Work-home balance: You work 80-hour weeks. You’re willing to tell your family that you “have to” work so much, but you’re quite unwilling to tell your boss that you need more family time… You’re supplied with a job that “forces” you to work to exhaustion and with a family who either unhappily puts up with your falsely-reasoned abandonment or eventually leaves you.

    • Sexual balance: You have a drive for sex that’s more of an inconvenience than a natural desire. You cannot feel you libido rise without needing a “fix.” Sexual behaviors feel empty… You’re supplied with nudie magazines and partners effortlessly, and are unable to turn them away.

    • Lack/Poverty Mentality: You’re in debt. You insist on buying generic, and avoid buying if you do not have some type of discount. You avoid “fun” expenses. You have mantras such as: “I can’t afford it,” and, “Money doesn’t grow on trees.” You blame the government and economy for the cause of your insufficiency… You’re supplied with an endless stream of bills that you “don’t have” the money to pay. With nearly every unexpected inflow of money is an unexpected sickness, appliance replacement, etc. forcing you to “burn through the blessing.”

    • Emotional eating: You eat when you feel bad. You believe, “Food makes me happy,” and say things like, “I can’t stop. I know it’s unhealthy, but it tastes so good.” …You’re supply of pantry and fridge foods and meals on restaurant bills are designed far more for pleasure—the “sensory sensation”—than nutritional value. Nearly any food you want is at your command to purchase or be gifted to you by others.

    • Substance abuse: You need to be “fixed” in order to feel “balanced” enough to do most things. When the substances are unavailable, you’re an emotional rollercoaster… You’re supplied with ready access to drugs, a dealer, and drug paraphernalia.

    • Self-Acceptance: When others ask you to go to the gym you say you have no interest, when really you fear being judged as a weak loser. When you don’t exhibit perfection, you start telling yourself and others, “I’m such an idiot,” and, “Don’t mind me, I can be pretty stupid.” …You’re supplied with people and situations which, by your self-demoralizing perspective, cause you to "truly" appear “less than”/“not good enough.”

    The path in is set before you automatically. Each successive pathway through, as well as whatever tools are needed, will arise when you require and/or request them. What is left to you is whether you will acknowledge the signposts, use any tools to your advantage, and, finally, take the high road out.

  3. “Planned” Difficulty, or Persistence of Experience.
  4. There are some lessons we simply can’t plan for. No one writes in their calendar on May 8th that they’ll move out of their house on June 9th because it’s going to burn down on the 10th. Any lessons inclusive of such an event must be dealt with as best as possible when they arise.

    However, if you were to look closely, you would find that many of life’s lessons are predictable. They work in either of two ways, though sometimes the two ways mesh, and what occurs mildly-to-moderately in the first way happens sharply with the appropriate timing of the second. These two ways are:

    1. The lessons are in front of you consistently, every day, every week, and/or every year until resolved.

      An example of this can be observed between two people with relationship problems. The partners are frequently at odds with each other and this expresses itself through regular arguments, acts of spite, complaining to others about their woes, etc.

    2. The lessons are cyclic.

      For instance, you may have ended a relationship in a horrendous fight. Sometime later, you end another relationship in a horrendous fight. And perhaps sometime after the second, the same happens a third time. If you were to mark down the dates of these happenings, you may find that they’d all occurred, say, every 10 years from each other—quite possibly down to the very same month, week, and/or even day.

    While the first way is a useful tool for seeing regular difficulties, the second way really helps for tracing major events back into your past in order to learn how they came to be. In realizing the origin of a program, you give yourself the opportunity to see it as false, accept it, and release it.

Brutal Honesty

A key note about this work is that you must be brutally honest with yourself. This cannot be over-stated. There is a fact that much of your lesson work will be based around things that you have been thinking, saying, doing, and experiencing in some way your whole life. You will believe them to be “normal,” and many people around you (especially family and friends) will believe the same.

Be very, very careful. Question everything. Don’t be too hasty to trust in the words and ways of those around you, even if they appear to have some measure of “knowing” or “authority.” Likewise, don't be too hasty even to trust your own experience: After all, your experience is but a mirror of your own distorted perception giving the appearance of "truth" to an illusion.

Abnormal is normal in a normally abnormal world.

Becoming You

It seems that by egoic human nature we’re really stubborn creatures. Although we often see signs of hurt, current or potential, we tend to ignore them, we blame the hurt on something or someone “out there,” or we push ourselves through hoping we’ll never have to deal with the hurt head-on.

But here’s the thing: Existence hasn’t been successful since forever because it’s stubborn. Arrogance and avoidance can thus never work and will, sooner or later, be torn from us should we not bother to surrender peacefully.

But we can do that: we can all surrender peacefully. We can all admit error in thought, word, and deed. We can all take on new perspectives, new attitudes, and new lifestyles.

You are included in this “all.”

Should you make this inclusion a conscious choice for positive change, you need to begin acknowledging the signs you’re given in any now-moment and do the inner work needed for resolution. While it’s true that there will be many signs you’ll only ever recognize in hindsight, it is also true that the more you do this work the sharper your discernment for any signs will become. Generally speaking, though, you’ll know the signs of life lessons because they’ll always be right in front of you, most likely causing you discomfort and suffering—a discomfort and suffering that is not, “The way life is,” so much as, “The way life is when it's trying to get your attention.”

In consequence of resolution, your life will become easier and more balanced and peaceful. This is not to say you won’t encounter difficult moments or back step at times—you will. But the continually renewing you who meets such moments will increasingly perceive them from a higher perspective. You will thus respond far more clear-mindedly and with neither the self-destructive and self-denying behaviors nor the harmful and misplaced interference of others.

You will edge ever closer to the you you’ve never known but have always longed to be.

How to Figure Out Life Lessons – Part 1

by John Boodhansingh of Zero Mindfulness

“The unexamined life is not worth living.”

Do you know what life lessons you are here to learn, at least currently?

If you’re unsure and would like clarity, I here offer 8 pointers as to how you can figure them out.

Be aware that when I use the word learn, I’m not suggesting that you need to intellectually/technically learn as much as possible about areas of interest. Instead, this learning is about personal qualities, about inner-development and balancing—which is actually an unlearning.

Yes, your soul may have taken on an embodiment with the intention of learning about astronomy, but neither self-education nor a Ph.D. are going to place you on a faster train to heaven (i.e.: the realization of your true nature). What will get you on that speedier train is your conscious detachment from any internal garbage—fears, false beliefs, etc.—that drives your current life lessons. This is so because your life lessons are external reflections of your internal imbalances.

That being said, let’s now look at 6 specific pointers you can use to clarify life lessons. Part 2 will include 2 general pointers as well as notes on the necessity of brutal honesty and the process of becoming you.

6 Specific Pointers toward Life Lessons

  1. Physical Imbalance. Metaphysical Symptoms.
  2. Personally, I can’t count the number of times this awareness has saved my life in both minor and major ways, and how it continues to do so. Potentially, it could save your life, too.

    Our world culture has taught us that disease and illness and all that unhappy stuff happens to us, and when it does we must do anything we can to rid ourselves of it as quickly as possible. Even if that means, as it seems to nowadays, taking 10 medications for varying symptoms and then 15 more medications in order to offset the horrific side effects of the former 10. So embedded has this mentality been programmed, that rarely does it occur to anyone that our physical imbalances are actually typically our bodies calling our attention to non-physical imbalances.

    It’s certainly possible that a person can come down with an illness or break both legs due to an unknowable soul choice. However, as far as I’ve seen, this is not the case 97% of the time. What is the case is that a person has, say, an issue with stubbing toes as a means of their body reflecting their mind’s position of stubbornness. Or, perhaps, that someone is prone to breaking fingers because they’re a hard-ass who refuses to accept the more delicate, fragile things of life. Or that someone has heart disease, not so much because they eat poorly (which is only an external driver) but because they carry a great deal of unaddressed hatred (which fuels poor eating habits).

    This is often referred to as “metaphysical symptoms of physical disease.” This works because, as I state endlessly, the external is a mirror of the internal. Yes, your body might be really freaking close to you, but it’s still external, it’s still a reflection of your mind. And it can tell you an incredible amount about what programming is running—and probably ruining—your life. Your belongings can also tell you a great deal about the same.

  3. Struggle. Repressed Creativity.
  4. Suppose you’re a biologist. You have a master’s degree and a great job, but your every day of work is a struggle. Indeed, you’ve been struggling with bio since your first week of college. No matter, you may press on, justifying with such beliefs as, “It’s what I’m meant to do,” and, “I can’t turn back time.” Or maybe you’ve unwittingly chosen biology—the study of life—because you unconsciously do want to better understand life—your life. Or perhaps your parents are biologists and don’t-break-the-mold kind of people whom, deep down, you fear receiving the disapproval of by instead taking up a career in your creative passion of surfing.

    Which leads to the question: Are you following a personal passion, and does your life flow creatively and easefully? While some degree of stress—eustress—is healthy for growth, it is not in the nature of life to be in a constant state of struggle and distress. Scriptures and sages have told us for eons that we are God’s greatest gift to creation, and yet so many people blow off this wisdom for the sake of affirming the self-defeating ways of a world culture that is clearly fubar.

    We are each uniquely gifted with passions and talents because God loves us and wants us to be happy. Unless you’ve either got a serious life lesson to resolve or it truly is something you love doing, why would you want to spend decades of your life looking into a microscope? You’d be far better off pulling back to get a much wider perspective by putting yourself under the microscope of self-inquiry.

  5. Personal Interests, Activities, and Favorites.
  6. Because we’re born into such an unconscious world, we must necessarily, for an indeterminate length of time, live unconsciously. Then add to this that life “out there” is a mirror of life “in here.” The result is our unconscious interest and taking part in things that are not true to our deepest selves so much as guideposts from our deepest selves toward the rediscovery of our deepest selves. (Got it?)

    An example of this, one that is personal to me, is the organization of Scouting. I’d spent about 13 years of my life in scouting, ending in Boy Scouts at age 18 with the highest rank of Eagle Scout. Why did I stay in so long? Among other reasons, the Boy Scout motto is, “Be prepared.” This resonated deeply with me (though unwittingly so) because one of my greatest lessons is seeing myself as good enough as is, as being capable, as not truly being a helpless, powerless victim. I’d spent 13 years using scouting as a tool to learn how to “be prepared.” Problem was, in looking “out there” I was never able reach “preparedness.” Only when I began looking within did I begin realizing that the true self-preparedness I’d so yearned for has already and always been right here, so quietly and subtly waiting for me to see it.

    Let’s look at this in another way. Think of all the different things you’ve ever called “my favorite,” whether they be songs, books, poems, movies, or whatever. It is very possible that these things resonate so deeply with you only because of their power in revealing to you that which you really want and/or feel.

    Consider how empty, how unhappy, disconnected, and destructive humans have been. It’s really no wonder that there’s such a glut of so-called “love” songs. Yet quite a high percentage of these songs are actually expressions of a longing for love within the context of the lyricist’s perceived experience of love as conditioned in sadness, loss, abandonment, and so on. These songs become fan favorites only because they resonate so deeply with “I’m broken”-minded listeners. Should the listeners heal unconscious and false ideas of “how love is,” the once-favorite songs would probably be dropped immediately. Whatever it is your favorite things suggest to you—love, freedom, peace, etc.—there’s a very good chance this is something you crave and are being called to realize within.

  7. Hyper-focus/Preoccupation.
  8. This next area of potential life lessons regards what you spend inordinate amounts of time focusing on, especially at irrelevant times.

    For instance, say you have an eating disorder. It is likely that you will constantly judge others for the way they eat, what they eat, and so on. If you undereat, for example, you may judge even those who eat in amazing moderation in attempt to “prove” yourself correct. If you typically undereat and don’t know it (as I used to do), you might, for example, ponder for eons over a restaurant menu for fear of walking away hungry—What’s the biggest thing I can get that’s going to be a sensory sensation and [over-]fill up this [emotional] void in my stomach?

    Or you may be forever focused on food. You may finish one meal only to immediately wonder what’s for the next. You may be at work or in meditation only to be pestered by a desire to nom on the leftover steak your wife made last night. You may justify this food-focus as “natural” or “survival necessity,” but it’s much more likely that you undereat, overeat, use food as an emotional suppressant, or just generally eat poorly and so your body and mind are constantly shouting, Feed Me! even when the food is completely unnecessary.

  9. Integrity Inhibited by Discomfort. Resistance to Change.
  10. There are obvious things you may resist, such as playing hopscotch on the freeway at night while wearing dark clothing. These things are perfectly rational to avoid because to do them is utterly foolish and unsafe.

    Yet there are plenty of other things you may resist, such as telling your boss that you don’t appreciate his mistreatment of you. Your lower mind may be screaming how utterly foolish and unsafe this would be to do but, as your higher mind knows, it would actually be very appropriate and useful for a number of self-, other-, and general life-improving reasons.

    A second example has to do with your willingness to be open-minded. We’re here to learn, to discover. And although so many people claim to want the full truth, all too many of these same folks shut down when the truth is placed before them. A truth could point toward the next greatest thing since sliced bread, yet it’s off-handedly rejected because it doesn’t align with what’s already been solidified in the mind as “how things are and must be.”

    Stubbornness, inflexibility, and an unwillingness to be wrong are an excellent place to start for noticing life lessons waiting to be learned. Remember, what you resist, persists. Resistance-based difficulties are sourced from within the mind and are thus yours to personally deal with.

  11. Bad Habits and Nervous Ticks.
  12. Consciously acknowledging life lessons can be anything but convenient. On some level you may see what’s happening, but you’ll do anything in your power to ignore it. Often this “anything” you do may long ago have become a set of unconscious actions.

    Perhaps in your early 20’s you we’re so nervous about telling your partner you didn’t want to date her anymore that you began biting your nails. Now, decades later, you’re married to her, you still don’t truly love her, and you’ve got an unconsciously-acted nail-biting habit that you can neither resolve nor remember how it came to be—you do it because you need some way to express what is gnawing at you internally without ever having to think about it.

    If you find yourself with a nervous tick such as nail-picking, hair-twirling or -pulling, touching yourself in the same place over and over again, it’s really important that you acknowledge it and make the effort to heal. Such behaviors indicate inner dis-ease and are meant to help you, not hurt you; but they will hurt you as long as you continue to avoid the truth they’re presenting.

    Take note that there is no space here for synonymizing avoidance and denial with feelings of disinterest and thoughts like, “It’s not a big deal.” With the latter, an experience occurs and there is a very straightforward seeing, making healthy and appropriate choices in self-integrity, and then a forgetting or letting go. Contrarily, since repression is required, it is in the nature of avoidance and denial to drive bad habits and nervous ticks while fueling negativity such as judgment and criticism toward other people who reflect any issue of concern.

Please click the link to go to “How to Figure Out Life Lessons – Part 2”.