Tuesday, June 27, 2017

“Late Bloomers” – Life May Not Be As Shitty As It Appears

by John Boodhansingh of Zero Mindfulness

Are you a young-ish adult?

Are you hoping for, wanting, working for success, but you only really get the “succ” part?

Perhaps you’re a “late bloomer.”

I would like to offer you (and remind myself of) some thoughts I’ve had about this. For, yes, life can be pretty shitty at times. But there is also the truth that the beliefs we have about how our lives should unfold plays a large role in the level of shittiness we perceive.


We all know the “acceptable” ways of our culture: We’re supposed to go to college, get a solid job with a good income, get married, buy a nice house and a car or three, have two or eight kids, and so on. We should be moving on up the ladder by our early 30’s, if not sooner.

This being reinforced by nearly every aspect of life we encounter, be it family or the education system or whoever, we come to accept that “this is the way it is.” Even if we accept resentfully for fear of being punished, ridiculed, etc., we’ve accepted nonetheless.

So we push on.

For me, I’d thoroughly bought into this whole bastardization of life and hated on myself terribly because of it. I’d struggled like mad. I’d self-degraded, self-sabotaged, and hurt others regularly because I’d not been able to “get it right,” all the while bent on the belief that, “My life is not supposed to happen this way.”

Words of Hope To Late Bloomers

To whom it may concern:

We may struggle so much. It seems like we’re only getting older yet our lives continue running at the same rate: nowhere fast. We may feel like utter wastes of space.

We must learn to take it easy on ourselves. It’s important to acknowledge that our apparent troubles are not necessarily due to any inherent faultiness.

Yes, sure, we’ve probably got a big, ugly load of false beliefs, fears, and all that slop which is causing us simultaneous trouble. And for sure, it is most useful to work on this. But there are many people who also carry loads of inner garbage and are still in some way successful early on, even if all "success" means is a satisfying job or a loving partner. So, what gives? Why can't we have these things?

It could simply be that our lives are pre-designed such that we come into our own later in life rather than earlier.

Why so? I don’t know that there needs to be any specific reason.

Personally, though she’d been speaking of a different topic, the words of a friend sum up the situation in a way that satisfies me here. She said: “The Universe is not interested in making clones.” (Thank you, JN.)

It is cultural conditioning that drives us into imagining—to the point of hating on ourselves and others—that we all have to do it “the right way, right away.” Reality is, the conditioning is all a lie.

So, Then, What To Do?

We have to do as we do and work with what we have, accepting where we are and letting life unfold in its own timing. In parallel, we can do any inner work required to resolve arising discomforts.

Of the first few items: We’re in it until it’s over, whatever that means. We may have aspirations to be an accomplished musician or a business owner, but if it’s a card that life won’t be dealing us for another 20 years, then patience and acceptance are a must.

Of inner work: I think this point is the most important. We can’t make peace with our situation and it's harder to get anywhere particularly notable in life, late bloomer or not, if we’ve got all sorts of inner blocks. Many of these very obstructions could be reason as to why we’re in the condition we’re in. Life is asking us to see and resolve the troubles now lest they act as invisible chains holding us back later on. Yet even if this isn’t so, by helping ourselves we have to be, well, helping ourselves.

Will changes show immediately? Maybe, but probably not. Life has a way of doing things in its own timing for reasons we may never know. But when our time does arrive, any inner work we’ve done will ease our transition as well as allow our life expressions to have that much greater of an impact.

Our earlier years could be described as a preparation for stepping into our life’s purpose—if we so choose. In a generalized example, consider the following: For some folks, maybe they do everything The System tells them because that is the experience their soul has an interest in experiencing. Nothing much comes out of their lives and they may not even question it, but, again, their souls are looking for that experience. Contrarily, maybe other folks start off doing everything The System tells them because they need to feel really horrible as a push to break free. Assuming they do, an understanding of the system, wisdom gained through hardship, and so forth are necessities for freeing others, are the very foundation of their potential success and fulfilment of soul purpose.

Life’s Timing, Not Ours

I hope this has provided some consolation to any frustrated late bloomers.

There’s no doubt that life can seem super crappy as we watch so many others succeed (whatever that means) while all we can do is “succ.”

Still, we can do our best to be patient, to do the inner work. At some point life has to give, for life does not stagnate.

Ending with a quote from Sri Ramana Maharshi:
“Whatever is destined not to happen will not happen, try as you may. Whatever is destined to happen will happen, do what you may to prevent it. This is certain. The best course, therefore, is to remain silent.”

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